As the author of three bestselling books, including What Your Mother Never Told You About Sex, Dr. Hilda Hutcherson has a lot to teach us. I caught up with the successful gynecologist, known for her message of empowerment, at K-Y Brand's booth at the Women's Conference last week and asked her what five things every woman should do right now to guarantee a healthier and happier sex life. Here are her tips!
- Know your body: "As a gynecologist for over 20 years I've found that most women really don't understand their body parts and how those body parts. Learn your body by exploring it and finding out how it responds."
- Realize you deserve sex: "In my practice I've found that there are many women who feel they don't deserve sex. They view sex as something that is for men, and something that they give to their partners. So they want to be good in bed, meaning that they want to wow their sexual partner. They want to blow his mind. You look at most women magazines and they talk about how to drive him crazy in bed. So we're taught to drive men crazy rather than to drive ourselves crazy. We need to make it wonderful for ourselves and know we deserve it too and that women need it as well for physical and emotional health."
- Learn about sex: "Who's going to teach you about sex? Sex is so much more than intercourse. So educate yourself about all the various ways of having sex. Learning the techniques, by reading books or watching videos, is important."
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- Communicate: "Take all the information that you've learned and share it with your partner. Many women feel that men should just know. If he's a great lover, he should know how to make me have a good sexual experience. The problem is that men have men parts, they don't have women parts. So they don't really understand what we have, and often they take what they learned in their last relationship and what turned that woman on — who may have been faking by the way — and they try to use it on you and it may not be what turns you on. If you feel good about yourself and you feel deserving and you know what turns you on, you take that information and share that with your partner and actually show him what it is that turns you on."
- Make sex a priority: "It's very easy when you've been with someone for a while to say I can do it tomorrow, I'm tired and exhausted. But the truth is that if you're in a relationship you need to have sex, and you need to have sex regularly. Because there are chemicals and hormones that are released that bond couples together. Sex is extremely important, so you have to put it on your BlackBerry or iPhone to make sure you do it. You have to have it."