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Adjusting to Friend's Engagment

How Do You Cope When Your Friends Make Lifestyle Changes?


We don't need the Bridesmaid movie trailer to know it can be hard for single friends to adjust to a best friend's engagement. When you're still far from the aisle, excitement for your friend can get mixed with melancholy thoughts that things won't be the same. Marriage isn't the only lifestyle change that can spark feelings of isolation. Perhaps you've had to get used to friends having kids, moving in with partners, or going to grad school. When you find yourself at a different life stage as your good friends, how do you adjust to the reality of spending less time together, or having less in common? And do you have any tips for staying connected?

Photos by Michael +Anna Costa Photography via Style Me Pretty

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sweetpea1987 sweetpea1987 5 years
All of my friends and I are really close and we love and support each other very much! All I want for my friends is to see that they are happy!
Katie-Sweeney Katie-Sweeney 5 years
This has been happening to me a lot lately. I think its a great time to get closer with other friends and focus on new hobbies (I'm decorating my apartment and trying to get back into sewing). My biggest struggle is dealing with the thoughts that these changes won't happen to me.
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
It'll take time to find out if the life changes are too much for a friendship to endure, but I think the most important thing is to make time to find out. Life changes usually entail changes in schedule and location, and just forcing yourselves to make time, whether it's a weekly coffee date, or skype date if someone has moved. Putting time into the relationship is crucial.
snarkypants snarkypants 5 years
i agree with onlysourcherry. if the friendship is strong enough, it'll last on its own.
Not-Princess22 Not-Princess22 5 years
Right now im on a "Friendship break"with my best friends. They all got married and had kids while I went to grad school. They all are SAHM and I got my dream job. We dont have anything in common anymore and, I dont want to sound rude but, I get extremely bored with them, the only things they talk about are diapers brands, toys, what new things their kids are doing... They pressure me with having kids soon when I have told them several times that motherhood its not for me, and when I tell them that I just value my freedom so much they get offended :S So I decided that I needed fresh air, started meeting young, child-free couples and having a joy with my new friends. I still consider the others my best friends, but I need a break from them.
Not-Princess22 Not-Princess22 5 years
Right now im on a "Friendship break"with my best friends. They all got married and had kids while I went to grad school. They all are SAHM and I got my dream job. We dont have anything in common anymore and, I dont want to sound rude but, I get extremely bored with them, the only things they talk about are diapers brands, toys, what new things their kids are doing...They pressure me with having kids soon when I have told them several times that motherhood its not for me, and when I tell them that I just value my freedom so much they get offended :S So I decided that I needed fresh air, started meeting young, child-free couples and having a joy with my new friends. I still consider the others my best friends, but I need a break from them.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
I've had friendships that survived a major life change and friendships that did not. I've also had friendships that "took a break" after a major life change and then came back together. I think it comes down to the "people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" issue. If a friendship is strong then it will survive change. If it is less strong, then it will not, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't cherish all the good times you had.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
I've had friendships that survived a major life change and friendships that did not. I've also had friendships that "took a break" after a major life change and then came back together. I think it comes down to the "people are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime" issue. If a friendship is strong then it will survive change. If it is less strong, then it will not, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't cherish all the good times you had.
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