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Age Difference in Relationships 2010-07-12 06:00:09

Group Therapy: BF Suddenly Has Problem With Age Difference

This question is an excerpt from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

So my boyfriend and I have been together for awhile now.  We work at the same place and we have a 6 year age difference.  He's just now saying that he doesn't know if this is a good time in my life to be with him because I am younger than him.  He tells me he doesn't want to miss out on "kid" stuff and regret not doing it later.  

The thing is, we already went to go look at rings so he can propose to me! Why would he do that, if all of a sudden I'm too young?? I am ready to settle down and am in love with him.  If I was afraid I was going to miss out on something, I wouldn't commit myself to anyone. Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this??

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Solti Solti 6 years
Try to endure. Even though you are ready to settle down, you should try to show him, that you are mature enough to put it on hold until he feels more comfortable with things again. It may have just been the reality of the engagement ring shopping that set him backwards, and filled him with doubts. If you love him and he loves you, try to make a compromise with him, he may feel as though he is robbing you of your youth and good times; not wanting to have a marriage start off on the wrong foot is understandable, give him time. Besides, if all else fails at least you can be secure in knowing you did your best.
Solti Solti 6 years
Try to endure. Even though you are ready to settle down, you should try to show him, that you are mature enough to put it on hold until he feels more comfortable with things again. It may have just been the reality of the engagement ring shopping that set him backwards, and filled him with doubts. If you love him and he loves you, try to make a compromise with him, he may feel as though he is robbing you of your youth and good times; not wanting to have a marriage start off on the wrong foot is understandable, give him time. Besides, if all else fails at least you can be secure in knowing you did your best.
Skeptic52 Skeptic52 6 years
Unless it's because you're a minor, that's just a really stupid excuse. My husband and I are five years apart and it works out perfectly. I think there's definitely something to be said for that "boys mature slower than girls" theory. The only other thing I can think of that's reasonable about that age difference is if you're just entering college and he's ready to move away for some big career. Other than that, though, that's just a way to get out.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Yes, you're pretty young. Then again, I've just been to a wedding where both groom and bride are both 18. They've been together 3 years and hopefully it'll work out for them.Is he making a big deal of your age or your age difference? My husband is 12 yrs older than I am and we got married in my 20s and we're just fine, he didn't have a problem proposing.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Yes, you're pretty young. Then again, I've just been to a wedding where both groom and bride are both 18. They've been together 3 years and hopefully it'll work out for them. Is he making a big deal of your age or your age difference? My husband is 12 yrs older than I am and we got married in my 20s and we're just fine, he didn't have a problem proposing.
luckystrike89 luckystrike89 6 years
I am 22 and he is 28
luckystrike89 luckystrike89 6 years
I am 22 and he is 28
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
How old are you and how old is he? Are you 18, and he's what, 24? 24 is not too old to settle down.....maybe he is not sure. Its something only the two of you can work out. Good luck.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
6 years? Really? I agree with others that he just grabbing at the [nearly nonexistant] age difference as an excuse. Or maybe this would be easier to remark on if the ages were revealed. You're not like, 18 years old, are you?
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 6 years
I agree with everyone who said this is just an excuse to get out of the relationship. He probably is getting cold feet post-engagement talk.
skigurl skigurl 6 years
I agree, he is just using age as an excuse and he is just not ready or doesn't want the relationship to progress. This post was edited so badly too!
skigurl skigurl 6 years
I agree, he is just using age as an excuse and he is just not ready or doesn't want the relationship to progress. This post was edited so badly too!
jazzytummy jazzytummy 6 years
He might be projecting...in other words, maybe HE doesn't want to miss out on "kid stuff", i.e. he is the one who isn't ready. I agree you should be up front with him about it, but frankly, it just sounds like an excuse to me to avoid progression in your relationship.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 6 years
He might be projecting...in other words, maybe HE doesn't want to miss out on "kid stuff", i.e. he is the one who isn't ready.I agree you should be up front with him about it, but frankly, it just sounds like an excuse to me to avoid progression in your relationship.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Tell him that you love him and ready to settle down with him and you're done with those so-called 'kid stuff.' If he won't listen to you, most likely he's having cold feet/change of heart/etc and is just using your age as an excuse to not propose or to break up with you. Good luck
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Tell him that you love him and ready to settle down with him and you're done with those so-called 'kid stuff.'If he won't listen to you, most likely he's having cold feet/change of heart/etc and is just using your age as an excuse to not propose or to break up with you.Good luck
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