I loyally tuned in to Doogie Howser, M.D. back in the day, waiting for him to start abusing prescription pills or run an underground clinic where he prescribed narcotics to the kids at school. But this was wholesome family programming; my alternate plots were a long shot. So imagine my surprise when a fanatic came along and photoshopped some creepy fun into the old TV intro. I must admit, an obsessed stalker would have provided more juice for those chronicles Doogie updated on his janky home word processor — why didn't I think of this?