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Am I Overreacting?

Dear Sugar--
I've been dating this guy for about a year. Everything was going great up until a few incidents that are making me second guess him. The first situation happened when we were out for breakfast and a couple of ladies called out his name. It was co-workers from a previous job and they walked over to the table and started talking to him. I got no introduction from him or them, and it was as if I wasn't there. Then last night, we went out to dinner and he received a phone call. He proceeded to tell the person on the other end of the phone that he was in "a meeting" and had to call them back. I asked him as to why he lied, why he couldn't just say he was out to dinner with his girlfriend...I felt that I was disrespected on both occasions. Am I overreacting here or are these big red flags? --Am I Blind Beth

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Dear Am I Blind Beth--
I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but yes, your boyfriend's actions are in fact big red flags. The lack of introduction at breakfast could have been a case of him not remembering their names, but lying about having dinner with you is inexcusable. You say you have been dating this man for a year, but are you in a monogamous relationship? It sounds as though you are simply not on the same page.

When you pushed back on your boyfriend's lie at dinner, what was his reaction? Was he defensive and uncomfortable? Have you expressed how his coyness about your role in his life is making you feel? It sounds as though you need to have a heart to heart and hash out the future of your relationship.

You have every right to feel the way you do and I do not think you are overreacting in the slightest. If you are not getting what you need and want from him, I advise you to get out of this one sided relationship. You deserve to be with a man who respects you as his girlfriend, someone who is truthful and loving, not someone who acts ashamed to admit he is in a relationship with you. Trust your instincts Beth and I wish you luck.


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