One of my closest friends since high school is driving me crazy. She has always had a very strong personality but her ego is growing by the second. Whenever we are together in a group, she always finds a way to brag about her life, her fabulous job, all her friends, and how every guy loves her. Her big mouth has gotten on my last nerve and I can't take it anymore.
I want to talk to my friend but she can get very defensive. I don't think I can maintain a close friendship with her if she continues to act this way. Most of the time she is a really good and fun person and would be there for me if I needed her. I don't want to cut her out of my life but I feel she needs to adjust her attitude. Should I talk to her about any of this or just suck it up and deal? Fed up Farah
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Dear Fed up Farah
How annoying! Your gal pal's swollen head sounds like insecurity. What is it about her ranting and raving that bothers you so much? Do you harbor any inside competition with this girl? Does she talk this way when you are together one on one or just out in a group? The next time she carries on, try to change the subject to include the other people in the conversation.
Some friendly rivalry is healthy and very common, but if her actions are threatening your friendship, try taking a break from your best friend. She could be acting this way as a cover up, perhaps everything isn't as perfect as she makes it out to be. It sounds like a heart to heart is in order. If she considers you to be a good friend, maybe she'll even appreciate the constructive criticism.
Since you are aware of her defensive side, try talking to her in an nonthreatening manner. Let her know how much her friendship means to you but her competitive ways can be very off putting and offensive. Hopefully she will take your suggestions to heart and change her ways in social settings so that she doesn't start to bother others.