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Ask E. Jean for DearSugar: Do I Have to Play the Game?

It’s the oldest question of all. Do I HAVE to play the game?

I mean really. How else do I deal with the “I’m only hot for you as long as you’re not too hot for me” game guys play? How do I get a guy to stop playing the game long enough to admit he’s interested? Do I have to play along?----Miss Honesty

To see E. JEAN's answer


No. You can cause a lad to roll on the linoleum in a lather . . . without tricks, shams, cons, gimmicks, falsies, snares, traps or games. (One of those sleek little black Zac Posen numbers, however, would help -- see FabSugar.) Just follow these 3 steps:

  1. Live your life with purpose. (And that purpose should not be trying to “outplay” chumps, dillweeds, and twitballs.)
  2. Do not give a big flying fig-cockle what men think.
  3. Stop taking guys seriously.

You see, Miss Honesty, when you don’t care if a chap lives or dies, that chap will totally kick the ass of any man who stands in his way of attaining you. Of course, only a superhuman woman without a heart (uterus, or brain) could perform the above 3 steps.

Therefore, here is the E.Jean/Arthur Schopenhauer Plan: (That crazy philosopher had love-games dead on when he said: “The final aim of all love intrigues, be they comic or tragic, is really of more importance than all other ends in human life. What it all turns upon is nothing less than the composition of the next generation. It’s not the weal and woe of any one individual, but that of the human race to come, which is here at stake.”)

  1. Be yourself.
  2. Maintain an enchanting resistance to the chap’s advances.
  3. Sustain a subtle interest in other chaps.
  4. ALWAYS hold out longer than he does.

And, that, Miss Honesty, is how you get a guy to stop playing games.

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle Magazine and

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