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Ask E. Jean For DearSugar: Where Are All the Men?

Dear E. Jean,

I need serious help. I’m bright, successful, pretty, slightly goofy, and want to make a difference in the world. I would also like to marry and have children. I’m 28, live in the big city, volunteer, and go to church. I admit I am slightly overweight (I’m 5’5” and 140 — I can never get rid of those extra 10!)) and I may laugh a little too heartily at people’s jokes; but, it’s been four years since I met a decent guy. Four years!
This is pathetic!
And please, E. Jean, don’t think I’m not meeting guys because I’m shy. I’m not in the least bit timid. I just haven’t been in the right place at the right time. So my question is simple: Where is the “right place?” I can’t find it! Where are the guys?
—Everybody Has A Boyfriend But Me

To see E. Jean's answer

My Buttered Muffin,

Here’s Auntie Eeee’s List of the 36 Best Places to Meet a Man:

  2. Golf courses
  3. Batting cages
  4. Handball courts
  5. Driving ranges
  6. Squash courts
  7. Gun clubs
  8. Hockey rinks
  9. Deep Sea Diving Resorts
  10. (Are you beginning to get the picture? If you go where there are high numbers of eligible men, you can’t help but meet a nice chap!)

  11. The US Open (golf and tennis)
  12. The Super Bowl (duh)
  13. The Final Four
  14. The Kentucky Derby
  15. The Belmont Stakes
  16. Title fights
  17. The Indy 500
  18. Any NASCAR race
  19. Sports bars
  20. The Street — Next time you see a handsome stranger coming toward you, look him in the eye and smile. As I always say: It may turn out to be nothing but a three-second saucy intrigue, but why should your future happiness be at the mercy of not giving into an impulse?
  21. Ask your friends to fix you up.
  22. Hire a PR agent. He/she will get you invited to the hot parties.
  23. The gym
  24. Adopt a dog from the ASPCA. Walk that dog four times a day (in the financial district — Ha!) and your chances for a romantic encounter zoom to 28 times a week.
  25. Gallery openings and art museums.
  26. Set up your easel in the park (or better, on a busy sidewalk in front of the “in” club), and inspire curiosity.
  27. Concerts
  28. Music and Film Festivals
  29. Go to different churches and try out the Friday-night Shabbat services. It is mind-broadening and good for your soul.
  30. Hot restaurants
  31. Hot bars
  32. Cigar bars
  33. Pool halls
  34. Car shows
  35. Boat shows
  36. Geek Meets
  37. The Political Campaigns.

Really, it is all about seizing the opportunity and not allowing that handsome fellow in front of you on the coffee shop line to leave without you smiling and saying “hello.” Because, darling, it would be too sad to look back on your life and wonder why you couldn’t “meet a guy” when guys are literally EVERYWHERE!

To see more advice from E. Jean visit Elle magazine and

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