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Awkward! Destination Wedding Invitee Wants to Invite Friend

Thanks to a reader with an issue (sorry, reader!), we have an awkward scenario for you that she needs you to weigh in on.

"I have been invited to a destination wedding in Mexico. The bride has graciously invited me plus a guest. The problem is that I am not currently dating anyone and I am not really comfortable inviting any of my male friends. I may know some of the other guests, as I went to college with the bride, but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't. While I'm not opposed to traveling alone, I feel the whole trip would be more enjoyable if I had someone with me. Can I bring a platonic girlfriend to the wedding or is that misusing the privilege of being invited with a guest? Is it appropriate to ask the bride?"

Source: IMDB

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zeze zeze 6 years
I think it would be rude honestly, for the same reasons the Anon bride pointed out. And guest means your sig. other...a date. No one wants to pay that much for someone just because it would be more fun for you. It is not a vacation, it is basically your duty as her friend to go to her wedding. A pleasant obligation - so bringing a friend is not appropriate IMO and the bride would probably think the same thing - even if she tells you it's fine.
zeze zeze 6 years
I think it would be rude honestly, for the same reasons the Anon bride pointed out. And guest means your sig. other...a date. No one wants to pay that much for someone just because it would be more fun for you. It is not a vacation, it is basically your duty as her friend to go to her wedding. A pleasant obligation - so bringing a friend is not appropriate IMO and the bride would probably think the same thing - even if she tells you it's fine.
Nieci77 Nieci77 6 years
I have an issue. I am the bride and I will be having a destination wedding. I would like friends to attend our destination wedding and it's ok to bring a guest to the trip. But since my reception can only hold 70 people if the guest guest is not someone there dating and basically is a platonic friend of the same sex I dont want them to come to the reception. This way I can accomodate more family members. Is this rude?
blondeyy blondeyy 6 years
Easy. The bride is your friend. Ask her if you aren't sure. She'll let you know. Done.
blondeyy blondeyy 6 years
Easy. The bride is your friend. Ask her if you aren't sure. She'll let you know. Done.
sparklepants sparklepants 6 years
i agree...guest means guest. when i got married i had several girlfriends just bring other girls b/c they weren't attached at the time and didn't want to come alone. i couldn't have cared less. i think it's so rude for the bride to include "and guest" on the invite but then require approval of the "and guest". bottom line: ask the bride. i'm sure she'd be fine. you're going to a foreign country...i don't recommend traveling alone unless you're a pro.
sparklepants sparklepants 6 years
i agree...guest means guest. when i got married i had several girlfriends just bring other girls b/c they weren't attached at the time and didn't want to come alone. i couldn't have cared less. i think it's so rude for the bride to include "and guest" on the invite but then require approval of the "and guest". bottom line: ask the bride. i'm sure she'd be fine. you're going to a foreign country...i don't recommend traveling alone unless you're a pro.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
Agreed with most above. It's fine to bring your friend. Just call her and let her know you would like to bring a girlfriend. Make the conversation short and don't worry her with other details. Its better you do, because you won't have to lean on her for help while you are there. I had a destination wedding and a girlfriend came alone. She nearly drove me crazy as I felt I was babysitting her the entire time. I came close a few times to having a major blowout with her.I was too stressed to make sure she could get around by herself the entire time. Do everyone a favor and bring her along.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 6 years
Agreed with most above. It's fine to bring your friend. Just call her and let her know you would like to bring a girlfriend. Make the conversation short and don't worry her with other details. Its better you do, because you won't have to lean on her for help while you are there. I had a destination wedding and a girlfriend came alone. She nearly drove me crazy as I felt I was babysitting her the entire time. I came close a few times to having a major blowout with her. I was too stressed to make sure she could get around by herself the entire time. Do everyone a favor and bring her along.
lilkimbo lilkimbo 6 years
I agree, Amanda. I think I already said something to this effect, but it would be tacky to invite someone with a guest and then try to dictate whom the guest is. I don't get why it's tacky to bring a guest of your choosing when you are invited with a guest. Additionally, some brides and grooms would rather you didn't bring someone they know; maybe there is a reason that person wasn't invited.Personally, I would be extremely annoyed if I was the bride and my guests were calling to ask whether it was ok to bring a specific guest. I'm sure she has enough on her mind/plate as it is!
lilkimbo lilkimbo 6 years
I agree, Amanda. I think I already said something to this effect, but it would be tacky to invite someone with a guest and then try to dictate whom the guest is. I don't get why it's tacky to bring a guest of your choosing when you are invited with a guest. Additionally, some brides and grooms would rather you didn't bring someone they know; maybe there is a reason that person wasn't invited. Personally, I would be extremely annoyed if I was the bride and my guests were calling to ask whether it was ok to bring a specific guest. I'm sure she has enough on her mind/plate as it is!
AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 6 years
Janine22, lots of people bring dates to weddings who don't know the bride or groom. That's not tacky if they were invited to bring a guest, which in this case the OP was. The reason she wants to bring someone is because it's a destination wedding and she's going to be on her own a lot of the time. Of course she's going to want some company!
Janine22 Janine22 6 years
I would say definitely ask the bride to be certain it is ok. Weddings these days are very expensive, especially when factoring in that everyone wants to bring their significant other. Why would you need to bring a friend of yours to the wedding that does not even know the bride? That makes no sense whatsoever to me, and personally I think it would be tacky to assume that it is ok. Definitely ask the bride first.
teegaall teegaall 6 years
Wow, who'd have thought that this would be such a controversial topic. Sounds like the best way to go is to just call your friend and see if it's okay to bring a friend.
Sylly-Ess Sylly-Ess 6 years
It doesn't say anywhere that your +1 can only be someone your dating. I was my sister's date to a wedding once because she wasn't seeing anyone. A +1 is a +1 as long as you RSVP as such.
kia kia 6 years
I think this is totally appropriate. I had a destination wedding in Costa Rica and maximizing the fun for my guests was important to me. We were not at a resort but rented homes on a property. By the end of our week in the area we had so many random people at our wedding (e.g. the guy we rented surfboards from). They were all cool folks and it added to party!
medenginer medenginer 6 years
I would just tell her that your not seeing anyone exclusively and that you would like to bring a friend as your guest of choice if that's acceptable with her. I'm sure she has already calculated your guest into the wedding number.
AmandaKrups AmandaKrups 6 years
For our wedding last year, we invited my now-husband's friend "and guest," assuming he would bring his girlfriend. But we had also heard they might be on the outs, which is why we didn't actually put her name on the invitation. They did end up breaking up a week or two before the wedding, and he brought his friend (another of my husband's friends who hadn't made the cut). It was fine. We had already paid for the meal anyway.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 6 years
Talk with the bride about it. If you're uncomfortable traveling to another country by yourself and she wants you there, she should be understanding of you wanting to bring a friend.
Choco-cat Choco-cat 6 years
if your invite is "and guest" you have a right to bring anyone you want.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 6 years
I agree with most everyone else too - if the invitation clearly states you and a guest then bring your friend.
sidra5397 sidra5397 6 years
I think it's fine for you to bring a close friend as your guest. Though, if you feel the bride has a certain idea of what "wedding etiquette" entails, such as only bringing a male guest or someone that the bridal party has a remote connection to then you should ask. Though it seems to me in those cases the guest would be just as much a stranger to the bridal party as a guest who is you friend.
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