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Awkward! Reusing a Ring Designed For a Previous Engagement

An engagement ring has so much symbolic value that people often get a little obsessed with its design, cost, and the method in which it's presented. A reader writes in with the following question:

"I was previously engaged and the engagement was broken. The ring that I wore was one that I designed with my mother and grandmother to become a family heirloom and was purchased by my family. My ex had nothing to do with the picking out or paying for the ring.

I am now in a relationship with someone else and we have been discussing marriage. He knows about the ring that my mother now has and has no objection to giving it to me if we were to get engaged. We have also discussed getting it engraved or adding a band to it. Is it tacky to 'reuse' this ring?"

What do you think — is it OK for her to reuse this ring? Any engagement ring sagas to share?

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FinnsFavorite FinnsFavorite 7 years
Since the ring did not come from the previous fiance, it is OK to re-use if you are both OK with it. However, I would still ask the new guy to buy me my own ring; maybe keep the other one for the right hand.
NicaLuv NicaLuv 7 years
I don't know, i think it's okay... She paid for it anyway and it's supposed to be a family heirloom...
ladybirda ladybirda 7 years
A family heirloom ring doesn't have to be an engagement ring. My stepfather has a family ring given to him by his late mother and he wears it - on his right hand. So she should wear the family ring on her right hand and let the new fiance get an engagement ring to wear on her left, even if it's not as fancy, it will be from him and symbolize their future, not anyone's past.
ella1978 ella1978 7 years
you can always use the jewels and put them in a new setting. Lower cost than a new ring, but it would be a new ring for the new beau.
itsme3683 itsme3683 7 years
Under normal circumstances, yeah, re-using a wedding ring is tacky, but I mean, it's your ring, and as long as he's ok with it, I think it's fine.
HoneyBrown1976 HoneyBrown1976 7 years
It's acceptable only in a situation like this. Now, if a guy bought the ring and saved it for another possible engagement, well, that's bad karma.
bransugar79 bransugar79 7 years
I think this whole situation is weird personally. I mean, normally if the guy buys the ring then I would say give it back. I don't understand re-using a ring anymore than I understand being engaged over and over again. I get that your family paid for it and it's supposed to be some kind of heirloom, but what about your new fiance. Maybe he's OK with it, but if I were him I wouldn't want the leftovers of your last relationship bleeding into the new one. All in all it's up to you but it just seems like a fishy thing to do in my opinion
French-Kiss French-Kiss 7 years
To say "Reusing a Ring Designed For a Previous Engagement" i find it is not a good idea, but actually the situation is special ! So in her case yeah it's a good idea, and if the boy is okay why not =) She made this ring to symbolyze the wedding and love through generations, and not to be the signe of her love btw her and her ex (as she says) so it's okay ^^
medenginer medenginer 7 years
It was bought by your family for a heirloom and not by the ex so I would use it. I would have him modify it somehow when you get married or buy a different piece of jewelery to wear everyday also.
kia kia 7 years
designed by you and your family so not tacky at all as long as your guy is cool with it. he can offer some other symbol of commitment as well if you need it. personally I went for a small, inexpensive, vintage engagement ring and my husband (fiance at the time) spent a good deal of the money that would have gone into my ring on a socially-conscious mutual market fund for me to reinvest in our married life when the time is right.
Hiding55 Hiding55 7 years
I say it's ok since it's a family heirloom type ring. Talk to your man though and see what his thoughts are. He may want to buy you his own special ring. If you do use the ring fro your family then you should engrave it or change it in someway.
Angela123 Angela123 7 years
I think it's pretty tacky. I don't care who paid for it, you bought that ring with a certain groom in mind.
dm8bri dm8bri 7 years
Given the back story on the ring and your mutual good feelings about it, there's nothing wrong with "reusing".
Jinx Jinx 7 years
If everyone's cool with it, I don't see how it matters. I'm more curious about designing and purchasing your own engagement ring.
Jinx Jinx 7 years
If everyone's cool with it, I don't see how it matters.I'm more curious about designing and purchasing your own engagement ring.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
In this case, I think it's okay. If it were a ring purchased by a guy for his previous fiance I'd say tacky, but it sounds like this really had very little to do with the particular guy.
juicebox07 juicebox07 7 years
I think as long as both partners are okay with it then it is fine. Personally, I would never wear a ring that was once meant for someone else.
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