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Awkward! Not Sure About Inviting Boyfriend to Thanksgiving

Since the Holiday season can be rich with awkward moments, a friend of mine is trying to sort out a relationship dilemma before Thanksgiving arrives. Read her story, and see if you can offer her any advice.

"My boyfriend and I have been dating for about six months. Thanksgiving is coming up and I will be going to my parent's house, which is about two hours away from where I live now, for the weekend. Each year my extended family and I celebrate Thanksgiving at my aunt's house, which is right near my parent's. Since my boyfriend's family lives really far away, I would love to invite him to come. My only concern is that it might be overwhelming for him. He's met my parents when they came to visit, but this would involve staying at their house, not to mention meeting all my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Then again, it seems like a natural step in our relationship. Should I ask him to come along, or is it putting too much pressure on him?"

(By the way — if you have some awkward tales of your own, join our Awkward! group to share etiquette questions and stories with other readers.)

Image Source: Getty
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ella1978 ella1978 6 years
My fiance and I had been dating for about 10 months when I put him in that very same situation. He had met my mother, but no one else. I brought him along and things went just fine - he acclimated very quickly. I'm not sure that anyone really knew I was in a relationship, really. 8 months later we were living together, so it was really serious at that point, but it worked out well. It can't hurt to ask him!
AlexisSF AlexisSF 6 years
everyone's family can be overwhelming but I say yes, invite him if you want to spend the holiday with him, and if he doesn't feel comfortable, he's won't accept the invitation!
Smacks83 Smacks83 6 years
I'm with pixie on this, maybe 6 months isn't the longest time (again my opinion only). Normally I would say bring him along but the fact that its an overnight stay makes it a bigger deal than just spending the holiday with such a big family.
Pistil Pistil 6 years
He might actually want to go, so I would ask him.
tarabara1229 tarabara1229 6 years
I've been on the other end of this situation, where my bf invited me to his family's Thanksgiving, since my family is in Hawaii and I live in CA now. While it was initially overwhelming (he has a HUGE extended family), it was one of the best experiences. Not only was it entertaining and *very* informational, it also helped me cope with being away from my family. I'd rather spend Thanksgiving with my bf's family than with no one. If I were you, I'd definitely ask him!
mix-tape mix-tape 6 years
I would say no because you have been dating for six months, while that may seem like a long time (and it is) you could break up and next year have another boyfriend you want to bring. I reserve meeting extended family for someone who is truly special and has been around for a bit longer. Thanksgiving is a family holiday and while circumstances might make it easy to want to invite him, I would wait until next year at least.
Hiding55 Hiding55 6 years
Just ask him and see what he says. Don't pressure him or be disappointed if he chooses not to go. Meeting the entire family at once can be extremely overwhelming.
clareberrys clareberrys 6 years
Totally agree with mamasita - it doesnt hurt to ask! And if he doesnt feel comfortable its no big deal - you even said you think it might be overwhelming for him! Maybe if he wants to go (because he cant go with his family because theyre too far) then you could stay with your family for one night, spend Thanksgiving there and then instead of staying for the whole weekend you could maybe stay at a B&B close by and only see your family during the day? GOod luck!
lms lms 6 years
I agree with the other posters as well. I would like to add though that if he doesn't want to stay and doesn't mind driving...2 hours is not that bad that he could come for dinner but not have to sleep over.
xxstardust xxstardust 6 years
Both suggestions are good! Just make sure he knows there's no pressure, and you just want to make sure he has somewhere to go so he's not alone on the holiday - as well as the fact that you enjoy his company, of course. And of course, there's a lot you can do to make him more comfortable and less overwhelmed. Don't leave him too stranded to make conversation with Grandma for too long, prep the family beforehand and ask them not to play the Spanish Inquisition with him, etc. If he declines, try not to be disappointed - meeting family can be really hard! I remember the first time I stayed at my boyfriend's home [in which both his parents AND his grandparents live!!] I was terrified. It can take time to get comfortable, especially enough to to sleep over. If he says no, just remember to bring him home some tasty leftovers!
mamasitamalita mamasitamalita 6 years
bring it up to him just like that. "I would love for you to join me for Thanksgiving weekend, but I understand if it would be overwhelming. Take some time to consider, I am ok with a yes or no from you."
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