When a reality dating show has to stretch out two hours every week, you cannot expect gripping dialogue. But last night's episode of the The Bachelor was particularly egregious when it came to forced metaphors, cheesy symbolism, and tired cliches. Luckily, I was taking notes so I could distill some of the worst lines for your entertainment.
- Contestant Gia on a heart-shaped bracelet Jake bought her: "I wear my heart on my sleeve for him." I wonder if she'll take it off now that she got kicked off.
- Jake's voice over, "I'm ready to take a leap of faith" — cue Gia and Jake leaping off a pier (see video above).
- As Jake and Tenly are dancing, Tenly says: "You can lead — I think you can lead me in life and that's what I want." After that, she knows she wants to "dance with him forever."
- Jake on his heart rate: "Every time we kiss I'm running on the treadmill."
- Jake tells Ali that when she left, it felt like she "drove away with a piece of my heart." But not the important piece, since he doesn't want her back. Oh well. Apparently Ali already has a new boyfriend.
Did you sit through the symbolism last night?