Skip Nav
Women
How Wedding Dress Shopping Finally Taught Me to Always Listen to My Mother
Women
Unicorn Obsessed? These 36 Magical Costumes Are Marvelous
Relationships
10 Little Things That Mean SO Much to Women

Bad Love Advice From Friends

I Found Real Love . . . Once I Stopped Listening to My Friends

When it comes to relationships, who is it better to listen to: yourself or your friends? YourTango's Melissa Walker shares her account of why listening to friends can make potential relationships quickly fizzle.

Other people's opinions used to influence me to a fault. Then I started trusting myself.

I met Dan at a bar in London, where I worked for a year after college. I crashed a private birthday party with my roommates, and we homed in on the free food table, where Dan was also stationed. He and I bonded over American-style sliders and our illicit presences — he didn’t know the birthday boy, either — and he bought me three drinks before the night was through. Dan was shy, gentlemanly even, so although we soon became inseparable — meeting for walks in Kensington Park and pints after work — we danced in that limbo of more-than-friends but haven't-yet-kissed.

About two weeks after we'd met (and after about six nondates), we joined some of my friends at a bar. One of them said, "Oh, I wondered why you're not dating him, but now I see . . . he's balding." Then another chimed in to say she could never date someone shorter than she was. "We're not dating," I rushed to clarify. "We're just friends." That was it for Dan.

After a year, I left London to move to New York, and I met Dan to say goodbye. We did one of those holding-each-other hugs, and I felt such a pang of regret — we should have had something more than we did.

We live in a culture of crowdsourcing. I rarely buy a shirt without sending a pic to my stylish BFF and asking what she thinks. But putting back a piece of clothing because she reminds me that it's not my color or that the cut is wrong for my body is different from tossing aside a perfectly lovely guy, one I might really have something special with, based solely on a friend's commentary. For too long when I considered whether to date someone, my inner voice said something like: "Well, I'm into him. But how will everyone else feel?" And it wasn't just Dan I missed out on.

For the rest of the story, head to YourTango: I Found Real Love . . . Once I Stopped Listening to My Friends

Check out more great stories from YourTango:

Image Source: Shutterstock
Around The Web
Join The Conversation
How Rachael Bozsik is Changing the Way that College Women Land Their Dream Jobs
Halloween Love Songs
Streaming Romance Movies on Netflix
Disney Princess Engagement Shoot
My Boyfriend's Mom Hates Me
Malfoy and Hermione GIFs
I Forgot to Take My Birth Control Pill, What Should I Do?

POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.

From Our Partners
Latest Love