If you think the universe is unfair now, wait until you get a load of this update! A while back, a man from Kansas called 911 and said his girlfriend wouldn't leave the loo — in fact, she'd be in there for two years. (Ummm, what?! Ever heard the expression, "Shit or get off the pot?!") Turns out this poor woman had been stuck to the toilet seat for an entire month. (I'll spare you the details.) Anyway, somehow this wonderful boyfriend of hers, in addition to getting only six months probation for misdemeanor mistreatment, managed to win the $20,000 lottery — twice! Ugh. Click here to read more about this crazy story. The comments section is especially riveting.