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Being Harassed by Guy I Went on One Date With

Group Therapy: Difficulty Dealing With a Spurned Date

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I went out on one date with this guy about 2 months ago and was not really feeling him. I hung out with him twice after that but we didn't engage in anything sexual and I told him very clearly that I wasn't interested in something serious with him.

I met someone else and really felt a connection with the guy so I told this guy privately and to his face (not over the phone, text, etc.) that I had met someone else and didn't think it right to continue dating him given that I didn't think it had a chance (and also I was grateful for a legitimate excuse out of seeing this guy which I didn't tell him). He got upset. I mentioned that I hope one day we could be friends and he agreed.

It's been about 6 weeks since that day and I see this guy every day (in university together). He ignores me in public but sends me cute little texts all the time. I'm really starting to get pissed off with the being ignored in public. I feel as if I've done something horrible to this guy and I need to tread on eggshells to make sure that his feelings don't get hurt.

It's gotten to the point that I don't want to answer his texts anymore. How do I let this guy know that I don't appreciate being treated as if I have committed some horrible crime against him? (It's been 6 weeks since I broke things off with him and we'd only been on one date!!)

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soulsearcher83 soulsearcher83 5 years
You shouldn't be texting him anymore. You are telling him that he still has a chance every time you respond to his texts. So stop responding and block his number.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Ignore him. BTW, calling him a spurned lover after one date is a bit dramatic, isn't it? Make sure you yourself aren't creating drama where there is none.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 5 years
Ignore him. BTW, calling him a spurned lover after one date is a bit dramatic, isn't it? Make sure you yourself aren't creating drama where there is none.
snarkypants snarkypants 5 years
just ignore the texts. you went on one date!
Miss-Kaylie Miss-Kaylie 5 years
Exactly! Pull the "slow fade" on responding to texts or just stop responding all together.
testadura67 testadura67 5 years
He's being passive agressive, and if you've been as up front with him as you say you have, then you have no further obligation to him. If you don't want to answer, don't answer. That simple.
CCLn CCLn 5 years
Just gradually not respond to his text (yes, ignore his texts) if you guys aren't even friends. Feel free to set him free so you don't have to deal with this no more.
CCLn CCLn 5 years
Just gradually not respond to his text (yes, ignore his texts) if you guys aren't even friends. Feel free to set him free so you don't have to deal with this no more.
nylorac nylorac 5 years
I think you should just start ignoring his texts. He's probably just unsure of how to act around you and texts are a good way of keeping things light. But it's not like you guys are best friends and close in anyway. So feel free to cut him loose.
LaProfesora LaProfesora 5 years
I agree, you need to give him distance. Obviously he is into you romantically, and this was not about being friends for him, so you can't expect him to be friendly now. If he is still texting, it's because he is interested in you. If you have no intention on pursuing it, then just give him space. True story - I went on one date with a guy, and by the end didn't think it could go past that night, so when he called the next day to make plans, I thought it was best to let be upfront and say no. It turned into a 2 hour "break up", with tears and a text afterward telling me he had thrown up. One date.
LaProfesora LaProfesora 5 years
I agree, you need to give him distance. Obviously he is into you romantically, and this was not about being friends for him, so you can't expect him to be friendly now. If he is still texting, it's because he is interested in you. If you have no intention on pursuing it, then just give him space.True story - I went on one date with a guy, and by the end didn't think it could go past that night, so when he called the next day to make plans, I thought it was best to let be upfront and say no. It turned into a 2 hour "break up", with tears and a text afterward telling me he had thrown up. One date.
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
If a guy you barely know isn't acting how you want, set him free to go act that way with someone else. Asserting that he ought to talk to you in person, when he clearly doesn't want to, is closer to being a cow in my opinion. Personality mismatch. No big deal. Just taper off responding to the texts.
atraditionalist atraditionalist 5 years
Should I ignore his texts then as well? I don't want to be a cow to him but I'm starting to get sick of it. I don't mind not talking in public just not talking in public but then being contacted by him all the time as if we're still friends
Helen-Danger Helen-Danger 5 years
Leave the poor guy alone. You rejected him. He has no obligation to act friendly toward you--or even to talk to you apart from academics.
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