Every Stage of Your Relationship in Ice Cream Flavors

Updated on 3/4/2014 at 6:05 AM

We're happy to present this excerpt from one of our favorite sites, The Date Report. Who knew ice cream wasn't just for when you break up? Find out what flavor represent your current relationship status.

Ben and Jerry's just announced their new "core" collection of ice creams with a column of fudge/caramel/jam running down the center. You won't have to dig around for the best parts anymore, the Huffington Post explains, because the core structure means you'll always have access to the best parts. At the Date Report, we were excited. This will improve all relationships, we thought! This will revolutionize the post-coital snack game! The binging-on-ice-cream-in-front-of-the-television game! The breakup game! And then we realized: Ben and Jerry's is an essential component of every stage of a relationship. Whatever's happening in your life, Ben and Jerry've got a flavor for that: Source: Shutterstock

I am Definitely Going to Meet Someone This Weekend Ice Cream

VANILLA HONEY CARAMEL

It’s light and breezy and practically a health food — it’s yogurt — and who wouldn’t want to date you? No one, you think, tossing your hair confidently in your sun-drenched kitchen. No one wouldn’t want to date you.

Someone Just Asked Me Out and I am Gloating Alone in My Underwear Now Ice Cream

CAKE BATTER

Cake is for celebrating. You have something to celebrate now, so you get cake.

I am Currently on a First Date and We Are Eating Ice Cream Ice Cream

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH

You’re playing it safe. You’re on your tip toes. You’re grabbing for childhood nostalgia. Cookie dough is tentative hand-holding and almost-kisses and realizing you both grew up with family dogs named Ruffles. Also, no one but a monster is going to criticize you for choosing cookie dough.

I Just Got Home From a First Date and It Was the Worst Ice Cream

EVERYTHING BUT THE…

That date was terrible. You know what is not terrible? This ice cream. Think about the Heath Bar bites. Think about the chocolate covered almonds. And white chocolate chunks. And the peanut butter cups. Think about everything other than the fact that you just spent two hours of your life you’ll never get back listening to some guy explain the ins and outs of your own job, you know, the one in an industry he has never personally worked in.

I Just Got Home From a First Date and It Was the Best

CHEESECAKE BROWNIE

Success! Success deserves decadence! Decadence is Cheesecake Brownie. Cheesecake Brownie is the epitome of decadence.

We Just Had Sex For the First Time Ice Cream

CHERRY GARCIA

Classic. Refreshing. Cherries.

To find out what the other flavor represent, head to The Date Report: Every Stage of Your Relationship as Represented by Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

—Rachel Sugar

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