This week the ladies of Twitter took to the social site to crack us up with dirty jokes, #sadgooglesearches, and creative sex slang. Need a funny fix before the weekend? Get your end-of-the-week laugh on with the top tweets of the past seven days!
Wait for it . . .
Just had a bunch of cavities drilled and my jaw is so sore that now I know how Jon Hamm's girlfriend feels all the time.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) August 8, 2013
i just want a boy to like me no not that one
— Common White Girl (@girlposts) August 12, 2013
Keep reading for more tweets of the week!
Get your "O" on, ladies.
Can women have orgasms too? #sadgooglesearches
— Tricia (@Im_Tricia) August 14, 2013
And then they end with "oh, nevermind."
"Hey, I fucked that guy, or saw him at a coffee shop once, or wait, maybe my friend did, I can't remember" = pretty much all of my stories
— Sarah Thyre (@SarahThyre) August 14, 2013
Getting promiscuous with those sheets, are you?
the best thing about being single is sleeping around. you can sleep all over that big lonely bed of yours. left, right, middle, wherever.
— 50 Shades of Awkward (@OhWowThatsAwk) August 12, 2013
All I want is a guy who can figure out how to leave me alone while giving me all of his attention simultaneously
— Shira (@shiraselko) August 8, 2013
Mmmhmm, get it, girl.
I'm sorry I made sex noises while the waiter was reading the specials.
— Lori (@HeyitsLori) August 13, 2013
It's like watching The Internship.
"I have no expectations of you and I'm still disappointed" solid thing to say if someone asks why you're breaking up with them
— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) August 13, 2013
On that note, what's the deal with all the sinkholes?
Florida Sinkhole Devours Building is how I refer to sex.
— Bez (@Bez) August 12, 2013