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Better Late than Never?

Dear Sugar
I have been spending a lot of time with a guy I go to school with. We have so much fun together and we get along great, but every once in a while, something will happen that will leave me confused as to how he feels about me.

Last night we were supposed to have dinner and see a movie. He invited me earlier in the week and I was looking forward to our date all day. As I was on my way out the door, I got a text from him asking if we could meet up a half an hour later. No explanation, no call, just a lame text. I was so upset and tempted to not show up, but I talked myself into it even though I was upset the rest of the night.

It turned out his excuse for pushing back out date was because he was at a bar with his buddies watching a football game. I really enjoy spending time with him and I thought he felt the same way, but now I am confused. I would never do that to him, or a friend for that matter so I am now asking myself, am I being strung along? Am I over reacting or being too harsh? Please let me know what you think. Paranoid Penny

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Paranoid Penny
I've got to be straight with you and I do think that you are over reacting a bit. I understand that he pushed your date back and gave you no notice, but as irritating as that may be, he didn't cancel or mean to intentionally hurt your feelings.

Try to remember guys are a different breed and football games are as important to them as a big sale is to us! It sounds as though he got a little caught up in the game but that doesn't mean he isn't interested in you. It might be a good idea to tell your crush that although he isn't as timely as you are, you would appreciate a little more notice the next time he is going to be late or wants to make changes to your plans.

I would just hate for him to think that you are totally inflexible. In life sometimes you've got to be able to roll with the punches. Being an hour late because a big game is on really isn't a huge deal. Are you aware that this is high season for football? I am sure that once he knows that it is a sore spot for you, he will respect your wishes. Try to take a step back and enjoy your developing relationship. Good luck.

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popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
You know, I thought to myself - what football game could he possibly have been watching on Monday night? College season is over and the playoffs were on Sunday. So funny they added that in. I agree it makes the context different. I would just see how he behaves in the future and just write that off as a bad one-time experience. But if he's planning dates I bet he's into you.
clarapl clarapl 9 years
I submitted this question, and no, he didn't call--he just sent me a text message, 10 minutes before I was supposed to meet him. And so I WAS wondering what was going on, because there was no explanation. And he wasn't watching football--they added that part, I don't know why! It makes the context completely different. He WAS with a couple of girls, from his class he'd just been in. I'm not complaining, I'm totally confused by him. I never said anything about it to him, it just made me feel bad. If he wants to hang with other people, other girls, that's fine!--but HE had set the date, the time, everything...and then to tell me (not ask) to wait around for half an hour, literally as I'm heading out the door to meet him at the time HE had asked me to? Just so he could continue drinking and hanging out with some other girls a little longer? I'm just doubting whether he could possibly really like me that much, that's all.
Kratsina Kratsina 9 years
seriously, he actually called you to let you know he would be late and your complaining? If you meant nothing to him, and the date even less, he wouldn't have called you but left you sitting around wondering where he was. Cut him some slack.
hrhdiana hrhdiana 9 years
Guys just don't view that kind of stuff in the same way that women do. Watching a football game to completion, regardless of what time it is, is probably like me staying through my whole haircut and style, even if my stylist is running late :)
MandyJoBo MandyJoBo 9 years
I think that in relationships, we tend to expect a fairy tale. He's never late, he always knows how you will feel given any circumstance, he can read your mind... The reality is, people are different. And men can't read our minds. I know you feel like your date didn't mean as much to him as it did to you, but that is probably not the case. If you were with your friends doing something you REALLY enjoy (let's say shopping) and it ended in half an hour, would YOU want to drop everything and head out? Well, it's a bit like apples and oranges because a game has an ending, but you get what I'm saying. Even if you would, it doesn't mean he would - and that doesn't mean he cares any less about the date or the relationship than you do.
maryjoe maryjoe 9 years
I agree I think you are over reacting. This might be because you don't know where your relationship stands with this guy. If my BF did that to me I wouldn't mind. Now if a new guy I had a crush on did that I might think twice about it (at first) but after finding out that he was watching a football game with his freinds that would put me at ease.
rubialala rubialala 9 years
Better that he was hangning out with buddies than another female, yes?
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
Was it the playoffs? I would have left my husband waiting at the altar to watch the playoffs! Give the guy a break. He's human.
Miggs0708 Miggs0708 9 years
I completely agree with DearSugar, you are over reacting. Even as a married woman I would not react this way if my husband did the same thing. I think there may be some insecurity issues that need to be addressed.
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