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Boo! The Scariest Halloween News — an Alien Endorsement?

This is absolutely the most important news we will bring you all day. The paper of record, the Weekly World News has published a hard-hitting October Surprise endorsement: John McCain has picked up the coveted alien vote. Not illegal immigrants, real honest-to-goodness outer-space folks. The vote has been reportedly secured by Cindy McCain reaching across atmospheric lines to forge a diplomatic relationship with the alien. According to the WWN here's how it went down:

At a recent McCain rally, inside sources say Cindy McCain disappeared with the alien after sharing several champagnes with the notorious intergalactic lightweight. Ms. McCain’s alien-like good looks and natural blood temperature of 54°F may have proved too much for him to resist as she reportedly put her cyborg husband into sleep mode and worked her charms.

To see the effect of this turn of events on the election, check out the whole piece.

Back on Earth, Detroit and Oil City, PA, are dealing with Halloween hijinks of their own. To see how,

.

The Detroit tradition of "Devil's Night," where mischief makers set abandoned buildings on fire is being put out by thousands of citizen volunteers and police officers. The worst Devil's Night, 1984, saw 810 fires set in the city. They expect 50,000 volunteers to watch over the town this year.

In Oil City, PA, there's a cautious return to after-dark Trick or Treating this year following the 1992 murder of an 11-year-old, thanks to a petition drive by a local fifth grader. Her petition combined with an essay has persuaded the City Council to change its mind. The young activist will be out tomorrow night dressed up as a Goth princess bride.

Is anything scarier than that picture of Cindy McCain happening in your neck of the haunted and spooky woods?

Source and Source

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dreamsugar dreamsugar 7 years
:oy:
bluesarahlou bluesarahlou 7 years
Well...according to the Men in Black, the WWN is "the best damn investigative reporting on the planet." ;)
momma-tikita momma-tikita 7 years
hahahaha!
Jude-C Jude-C 7 years
I didn't even realize WWN was still around!
yesteryear yesteryear 7 years
hhahah. i love WWN!!
Punk-Glam-Queen Punk-Glam-Queen 7 years
Great one Citizen! And Great Sommelier! Basically don't trust politicians *or* aliens!
Great-Sommelier Great-Sommelier 7 years
That alien is a double agent!
milosmommy milosmommy 7 years
hilarious
Beauty Beauty 7 years
Ha! The coveted alien vote. Nice find, Citizen!
MSucre MSucre 7 years
Have you guys seen this Onion Video? http://www.theonion.com/content/video/cindy_mccain_claims_she_s_just
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 7 years
it wasnt an alien it was really this guy, who cindy THOUGHT was the alien Spock.
MarinerMandy MarinerMandy 7 years
That's awesome.
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