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Boyfriend Adds Girls on Facebook

Group Therapy: My Boyfriend Always Adds Girls on Facebook

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I have honestly, the best relationship. He constantly tells me how he loves me, he's sweet, super sensitive and would never cheat. But I've noticed he ALWAYS adds girls on Facebook.

What made me finally notice was my friend Joshua texted me and told me my bf added his best friend (girl), they have no mutual friends, and he must have thought his best friend was hot cause she had no clue who my bf was. I obviously became a little skeptical and brought it up to my boyfriend. He didn't deny or accept anything . . . Which was very strange. I got over it and let it go.

Then lately, I've been noticing a sh*t load of girls he's been adding, too. My boyfriend is VERY insecure so maybe this is linked to it? I know he would NEVER cheat on me, ever, but still. Why would he have the need to add these random chicks- half of the time- they're not even "hot" too. Like, this isn't bothering me enough to the point to confront him because for some reason I'd feel embarrassed; for him and for myself. Why is this bothering me at all though? He flips out on me if even a guy comments on anything of mine. Facebook means nothing in my eyes, but lately it's been the focus of my attention. Any advice? Thanks!

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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fernandauribe fernandauribe 4 years
My story's the same as yours. I am 22 years old, my boyfriend is 21, and he adds tons of girls (18-20 yr olds). I really need advice too.
et-moi et-moi 4 years
My feeling is that facebook has become such a strange statement of who a person is (if they let it be) that for many people their online persona is very important. So it probably has nothing to do with him being devious, but more with his self-esteem, displaying how cool of a guy he is by having so many girls as facebook friends. This was just my gut reaction. But whatever it actually is, I don't think it's anything to get hung up over.
et-moi et-moi 4 years
My feeling is that facebook has become such a strange statement of who a person is (if they let it be) that for many people their online persona is very important. So it probably has nothing to do with him being devious, but more with his self-esteem, displaying how cool of a guy he is by having so many girls as facebook friends. This was just my gut reaction.But whatever it actually is, I don't think it's anything to get hung up over.
atraditionalist atraditionalist 4 years
is your boyfriend a 14 year old boy who is new to the online universe? I'm sorry but that's weird and immature of him to be adding random people-I don't think he's cheating but I think it's kind of lame...I'd be embarassed if I were him and someone caught me adding people I didn't know to f-book People really need to lay off you-it's kind of a turn off when a guy acts like hes 12
dashsuede dashsuede 4 years
If he is flipping out when a guy comments on your stuff, there is definitely a problem. If he is adding girls he doesn't even know at all, there is a problem. I have no idea what his motivation is, maybe to make you jealous? I don't think there is anything wrong with how you're feeling. I once asked my boyfriend why he friended a girl even though she had a bad reputation for being a liar and he said he really didn't think about it and just deleted her no problem. So, maybe he may not be thinking much of it, or maybe he is feeding his ego. But if he can't rationally speak about it without getting defensive/offensive something is up intentionally or subconsciously.
dashsuede dashsuede 4 years
If he is flipping out when a guy comments on your stuff, there is definitely a problem.If he is adding girls he doesn't even know at all, there is a problem.I have no idea what his motivation is, maybe to make you jealous?I don't think there is anything wrong with how you're feeling.I once asked my boyfriend why he friended a girl even though she had a bad reputation for being a liar and he said he really didn't think about it and just deleted her no problem.So, maybe he may not be thinking much of it, or maybe he is feeding his ego. But if he can't rationally speak about it without getting defensive/offensive something is up intentionally or subconsciously.
lizzieLouLou lizzieLouLou 4 years
Sounds like you are the insecure one... Is it really necessary to call others "not hot" because you are so insecure. Or if facebook is causing relationship problems, get rid of it.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 4 years
Why are you watching him so closely if you trust him? I never look at what my bf does on facebook because he treats me well in person and has given me no need to doubt him. You should drop it and for your own sanity don't look at his profile. If you need to then take him off of your news feed. You'll know if it goes beyond just adding girls to some kind of relationship, your gut will tell you. But unless you're getting that feeling now you're on your way to causing fights over nothing.
goldenjaya goldenjaya 4 years
My boyfriend does this as well. You absolutely have my empath!
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years
Maybe he wants a high number of friends, and girls are more likely to add strangers? Maybe he feels uncomfortable adding random dudes? If you trust him so much, drop it.
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