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Boyfriend Cheated on His Ex Girlfriend

Group Therapy: Boyfriend Admitted to Cheating on His Exes

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!


OK, so by now I think everyone here knows this: I am six months into a relationship, in love with a guy who claims he loves me, too. So last night we were talking on the phone and I was telling him how I couldn't understand those girls who date several people at the same time. He jokingly said: yeah me neither! And I asked him if he had ever done it.

I expected him to reply (as usual): "No babe, I don't have the wits for that." But, to my great astonishment, he said: "Well, every time I did it I was caught!" What the hell?! Then he explained that sometimes when he was in a relationship he would find someone attractive and would want to try and see how she is! He would date her, go out with her two or three times before he got caught!! I really freaked out, told him that I took him for an honest kind of man. He said that was before and now is now! Very boldly he told me that he meets hot girls everyday and he gets tempted everyday but he has chosen to love and be with me!

Now I don't know what the hell to make out of the whole thing! I love him so much and I know he loves me too. but the trust is totally gone! Makes me sad because I kind of considered myself up for a long-term relationship. Now I don't know anything.

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danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you do decide to stay with him, be careful. For your safety, I would always use condoms because the last thing you want is an STD from this guy.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 4 years
Ditto dashsuede. Ditto
dashsuede dashsuede 4 years
Run away as fast as you can.
missmaryb missmaryb 4 years
Like the others have said, the fact that the only issue he had with it was getting caught rang a warning bell in my head. Of course, people change and mature, so hopefully this pertains to him. I would not obsess over it, but be aware of it and use caution. Good luck.
katialoves katialoves 4 years
is it possible that what is getting at you more than the newly discovered possibility he'll cheat is that he has a very different moral code than you? you can wonder endlessly if he'll ever cheat on you and go over the evidence for yes or no, but it might be easier to ask yourself if you'd want to parent with someone like this. or if you do not want children, would you want to marry/stay with him longterm as he is? is this the guy you envision yourself with?
vizslalvr vizslalvr 4 years
His flippant attitude about the terrible heartache I'm sure he caused the (apparently multiple) ex-girlfriend's he admittedly cheated on would be a complete turn off and deal breaker for me. He sounds like a self-absorbed ass.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 4 years
It may be a pattern or it may not be. Don't think too far to the future, take it easy, and just be observant.
GTCB GTCB 4 years
Some guys outgrow this type of behavior and become responsible adults. You'll have to judge if this guy is one such.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 4 years
If his only remorse is because he got caught, then you got troubles. BIG RED FLAG ALERT
lickety-split lickety-split 4 years
"I don't know what the hell to make out of the whole thing!" Yeah you do. This is his pattern. The best expectation of what someone will do in the future is what they have done in the past. you've been warned.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 4 years
Oh yikes. Well on one hand there's the honesty factor that he came right out and told you all of this. But he certainly doesn't seem to feel badly about it. If his main problem with cheating is that he might get caught, that will not a faithful man make. Did he show any remorse over it other than "whoops, she caught me?" I wouldn't say this is a make or break, but I would absolutely keep my eyes open here.
Raynne413 Raynne413 4 years
I can understand your reason for caution, but if he hasn't cheated on YOU, then you don't really have a reason to distrust him.
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