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Boyfriend Fantasizes About MILFs

My Boyfriend Fantasizes About Older Women

Dr. Natasha Janina Valdez, clinical sexologist and author of A Little Bit Kinky, has been guest blogging here for a week week. Today she's answering a user-submitted question about a boyfriend with a MILF fetish.

Q: My boyfriend is 7 years older than me (he's 27), and we've been together for almost 6 months now. We love each other to death, and even though we belong to different generations we get along perfectly. I went through his porn sites once (out of curiosity because he watches porn often) and he's very into MILFs. I freaked out, especially since I'm younger than him, and I thought I wasn't satisfying him as well as someone older would.

But we have talked about our sexual life (which is quite active and amazing for us both, we have talked about what we like doing and all), and he says I fully satisfy him, which made me really happy. We were talking about his dream women once, and he mentioned some pretty gorgeous women (Scarlett Johansson, Charlize Theron), but some were "local celebrities" who are hot but in their 40s! He confessed he loves mature women.

I got kinda mad (even though I knew that) and asked him why he was with me when I am only 20 years old. He mentioned it was just a fantasy. Is this normal? Is it normal that he watches porn almost every day even when every time we see each other we have sex, quickies, or some sort of sexual activity? Does this mean he lied when he told me I satisfy him?

Get the answer after the jump.

A: Some guys just have stronger libidos than others. That age between 14 and 40 can really rage for some men. He is watching a lot of porn, but is it affecting his work? His relationship with you? His sex life with you? If it's not getting in the way then let it ride for now. If it's getting in the way then bring it up and have a discussion about it. He's more than likely using the porn to masturbate to, and some guys masturbate every single day during certain phases of their life.

The MILF fantasy is very common for men. Just because he fantasizes about something doesn't mean he has to fulfill it or even wants to. I believe he is telling you the truth when he says that you satisfy him. It sounds like he can't keep his hands off you. Are you satisfied?

Dr. Natasha Janina Valdez is one of the nation’s leading sex experts and a certified clinical sexologist with a doctorate in human sexuality. Her new book A Little Bit Kinky is an imaginative and open-minded guide to exploring new possibilities in the bedroom and healthier relationships. Visit her online at drnatasha.com.

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Join The Conversation
Allytta Allytta 5 years
he's just too scared to do anything about his fantasies now. but you just wait. and all this talk about guys and porn and it being normal. no, it's not ok. and it bothers me my guy does it. but at least he asked me to film something for him so he can give up strange girls on the internet.
mckinseyann mckinseyann 5 years
I don't know, I agree with anonymous. Looking is cheating. Why shouldn't a girl be her guys one and only? Whatever happened to fidelity?
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I think the relationship and sex life sound like they're doing great. Fantasies are not necessarily what you want in real life... mine certainly aren't! Fantasy is exactly that-- fantasy. Imagination. Not real. La La Land.
skigurl skigurl 5 years
a lot of guys fantasize about a lot of different things, and it doesn't mean they automatically are cheating on you to get those things i wouldn't worry about it if your relationship is otherwise great and he reassures you and you have no other reason not to trust him
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