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Boyfriend Flirts With Other Girls

Group Therapy: My Boyfriend Is a Flirt

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now.  He's a very outgoing person but with all that said, he is such a flirt. 

He is a musician and he wants me to go to most if not all of his gigs to watch him play.  He knows that I'm watching him and he loves that I'm here, but he flirts with girls right in front of me!  I know that he loves me and would never cheat on me, but it crushes me every time and makes me second guess myself. 

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I tear myself apart comparing myself to these girls, wondering if they have something that he secretly wants.  I really do think that this flirting is part of his personality, but it's totally starting to affect my self-esteem.  What do I do? Do I confront him about this?  How do I tell him how I feel without sounding like a jealous girlfriend?

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GTCB GTCB 6 years
Personally, if the roles were reversed and I was dating someone fronting a band who flirted with guys during shows, I'd dump her. That being said, you certainly wouldn't be blamed for doing the same. While you may be having a good time with this guy, I can see it ending badly. The flirting behavior, if it's part of his act, will never go away. How much are you going to take before moving on?
GTCB GTCB 6 years
Personally, if the roles were reversed and I was dating someone fronting a band who flirted with guys during shows, I'd dump her. That being said, you certainly wouldn't be blamed for doing the same.While you may be having a good time with this guy, I can see it ending badly. The flirting behavior, if it's part of his act, will never go away. How much are you going to take before moving on?
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Since I've never dated a musician (just heard that it's tough) and I'm not reading any example on how he flirts...so I'm not sure if he's really flirting or he's just being outgoing/nice toward female fans (my husband is nice, polite and talkative to other females in front of me and I don't think he's flirting). All I can suggest is (assuming he's really flirting in front of you) to have a calm rational talk to him, ask him if he can tone it down (The flirting) because it makes you feel as if he's not being very respectful to you (the gf). Give examples of what action he took in front of you that makes you think he's too flirty. And if he took it well, thank him for the talk and for listening to you and taking what you're asking into consideration. Expect nothing too, you seem to have realized that it may be a part of his personality (remember you can't change anyone), so he may not even be aware he's flirting and may have a hard time toning it down. Good luck.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
Since I've never dated a musician (just heard that it's tough) and I'm not reading any example on how he flirts...so I'm not sure if he's really flirting or he's just being outgoing/nice toward female fans (my husband is nice, polite and talkative to other females in front of me and I don't think he's flirting). All I can suggest is (assuming he's really flirting in front of you) to have a calm rational talk to him, ask him if he can tone it down (The flirting) because it makes you feel as if he's not being very respectful to you (the gf). Give examples of what action he took in front of you that makes you think he's too flirty. And if he took it well, thank him for the talk and for listening to you and taking what you're asking into consideration. Expect nothing too, you seem to have realized that it may be a part of his personality (remember you can't change anyone), so he may not even be aware he's flirting and may have a hard time toning it down.Good luck.
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