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Boyfriend Is a Former Pot Head

Group Therapy: How to Get Over a BF's Past

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I'm having a tough time with my BF’s past. I'm not sure if I'm overreacting, or being completely normal with my feelings.

He spent from 14 – 25 smoking a TON of pot. His entire high school days were spent getting high. High in class, after school, weekends. Which continued into his 20s. He now is unable to smoke due to his job, but he speaks about it regularly, how much he misses it, how much he wish he could etc, etc. If we are at a concert, and kids light up, he comments about how he loves the smell and gets this grin. . .

I was not a pot smoker. Did I try it? Yes. But only a handful of times and didn’t enjoy it. I never saw the draw, and paying attention in school and being involved in other activities was how I spent my time. I'm having trouble with his "love" affair with the stuff. That he spent his formative years high as a kite, and how he speaks about it now like a long lost friend.

I cringe when he tells me stories from his high school days that start. . . .”I was so high and. . . .” I literally tune him out because I'm not amused and don’t think that it's cute, or okay that he spent that much time stoned out of his mind.

He doesn’t speak very openly about it when I ask, if I ask how often he was smoking, or why, or how it was okay for him to do that. Then I get upset that his parents didn’t know and didn’t do anything to stop it.

I spent my years studying hard, working, and doing extra curricular activities, I took what I did seriously. I had a ton of fun, but drugs weren’t part of that. Even in college, grades were too important to sit around getting stoned and wasting time. I should note — he didn’t do well in high school (big surprise) and he never went to college.

Find out more after the jump!

I think people do smoke, but grow out of it and realize it was something from their youth, a time of experimenting — not something carried into adulthood as a regular activity. Am I nuts for being this upset about it? That he still talks about it so much and it was such a big part of his life. I'm almost positive if his job didn’t prevent him from being able to smoke, he still would regularly.

Is there any way to feel better about this? Or is it really just a difference in moral standings and this is just where I stand and I'm never going to be okay with it?

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