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Boyfriend Getting Too Touchy-Feely With Friend

Group Therapy: Boyfriend Is Touchy-Feely With His Close Friend

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend has three close female friends. They are sisters and all hang in the same close-knit group of about six people (guys and girls, including my boyfriend).

After hanging out with the group a few times, I started to notice that my boyfriend tends to touch one of those girls more often than I'd like. He would playfully rub her stomach, her knee, her shoulder, her head, etc. This looked like it was all in the context of playfulness as it was in front of everyone.

However, I can't help but feel a little paranoid that he may be attracted to her. I've heard from somewhere that guys like to touch and/or be physically close to girls that they are attracted to. I haven't seen him act like this with other female friends, so why her?

Am I reasonable with my fears or am I just thinking "too much?"

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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juicebox07 juicebox07 4 years
I agree with Gabriela and Micha.
Quriosity Quriosity 4 years
red flag... i know a lot of people might say it's no big deal... but is such kind of affection necessary?? why is he only doing it to her and not other friends?? in my opinion, a boyfriend who's really into you and considerate wouldn't do anything to blur the line of what's a friend and more than a friend and make you uncomfortable. rubbing shoulders-okay, rubbing knees and stomach?? mmm it is a bit odd. i'd say you should bring it up to see what's he thinking? if he honestly thinks it's okay, would he be okay if you do the same thing to a male friend of yours?
Micha22 Micha22 4 years
The first thing I noticed was you said he playfully rubs her stomache. I think that is a bit odd. I wouldn't rub anyone's stomache really, especially not a guy in front of my fiance. It's not the same as playfully poking someone or something. I dunno...seems off to me. I'd bring it up!!
Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine 4 years
I feel like if he does it in front of you, it's not something he really thinks about and I don't think it's a threat. However, if it bothers you I'd talk to him about it- tell him you're fine with him having female friends, but that you'd prefer the touchy-feeliness be on you, not another woman.
zenliton zenliton 4 years
i agree with both comments above. But I want to add that even if he does it as a friend and is in no way attracted to her, and you still feel uncomfortable with that, you should probably let him know. If he respects you, he will take your feelings into consideration and maybe go a bit easy on being playful with his female friends.
missmaryb missmaryb 4 years
Are they both physically affectionate people in general? It could be nothing and they are just naturally touchy people. Or it could mean he has a thing for her. There's just no way of knowing for sure unless you ask him. If it's making you uncomfortable, better to address it than to let it build up inside you.
henna-red henna-red 4 years
he had a relationship with his friend for longer than he has with you? Does he show the same kind of touchy feely affection with you? If he's having the same kind of physical attention with his friend that he is having with you, then he may be attracted, or he may be acting normally within their friendship. Sounds like you haven't been together long enough to judge his normal behaviors. Ask him.
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