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Boyfriend Had Sex With Friend During Breakup

"My Boyfriend of 6 Years Slept With One of My Friends When We Broke Up"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I was with my boyfriend for about 5 years when he broke up with me. We were broken up for 10 months. We eventually got back together 2 years ago. I've just recently found out that during our break up he slept with one of my friends (or frienemy). I had expected that he slept with other people, but to sleep with this girl was the worst thing he could have done to me. He didn't tell me on his own. She messaged him on the same night I went out drinking with her.

I try to be strong about it, but I'm pretty torn up. It was only the one time, and he said he was sorry and that he made a mistake. He said he thought I had moved on and that he'd never see me again (I had a new boyfriend at the time), but I can't stomach that it was her. I've never seen anything like her, her complete lack of self respect. I never thought he would stoop that low. I'm a pretty girl, and for him to break up with me and sleep with her is soo confusing.

I see both sides of the coin. We're all human and make mistakes and do things that we never thought we would do (especially since we weren't together I don't feel I have a huge right to be mad). However, she's always tried to steal any guy that I was interested in, this is a continuing thing that happens, so did he just have absolutely no respect for me? Part of me wants to give it another try because I love him but part of me might always resent this situation. It feels like things have been broken. It'll always be me, him, and now her.

I don't know if I can let this go. I'd like to be enlightened and see past the physical choices. I understand why he didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose me. I asked him if he had thought about it and he said yes, he didn't know how to tell me or when would be good or if he'd lose me. I can totally sympathize, but I'm on the other side of table here.

No matter what I know that I will end up OK. I believe in my worth, and I know that there will be no shortage of love in my life, but I need to think long and hard before I can really let him back into my life.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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