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Boyfriend Not Ready to Get Engaged

Group Therapy: Boyfriend Not Ready to Get Engaged

This question comes from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and almost 8 months.  He is 31 and I am 29, and we do not live together.  I love him dearly and most of the time we have a great relationship; he is very patient and nurturing, and we have so many common interests.  The problem is that I feel we are ready to be engaged, but he is not ready.  This has started causing substantial problems, with him almost breaking up with me on several occasions because he says he doesn't want to keep hurting me over and over again with his unreadiness for engagement. 

He has started going to counseling because he feels he has an overall lack of motivation in his life and a desire to play it safe that causes him to avoid taking any kind of big steps in his life.  I worry that the counseling won't be enough, though, and that he will never be ready.  He also has a hard time saying "I love you," and doesn't say it very often, which is extremely hurtful (he says it's because it makes him feel too vulnerable and open to being hurt).  I am having serious anxiety with being almost 30 and unmarried, and feel as though everyone I know has already found someone and is having kids.  I am wondering if I should move on, but the thought of not being with him is devastating to me.  Does anyone have any advice?  I am really struggling here.

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