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Boyfriend Said He'd Be Happy Without Me

Group Therapy: He Said He'd Be Happy Without Me

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

He says if we don't end up together, he'll be okay, he just won't be AS happy. This is my first love, but not his first love. Does anyone know what this is like, what it means when someone says that? I don't understand it yet . . . maybe it's because I've only lost infatuation a few times, but I haven't yet lost a love like this — I don't want to.

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danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
That means he's a whole person on his own who doesn't need someone else to make him happy, that's VERY good. That's part of maturing.
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 5 years
Try not over-analyze or ruminate about the future. There's nothing you could do, anyway. If it's meant to be, it will all work out. Just enjoy the the moment. The current moment is a gift & that's why they call it the "present!" :love: Good luck! BTW, he sounds stable, but I'm a terrible one to interpret anything a man would say. :D #1 advice = Don't assume or jump to conclusions. ;)
AgainAnew AgainAnew 5 years
Everyone will be "ok" after a breakup. The only difference is the amount of time it takes. But the end result is always the same, life goes on.
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
It sounds like you have a stable boyfriend with a healthy outlook on your relationship. Congratulations, seriously.
Gdeeaz Gdeeaz 5 years
This is the type of question you shouldn't ask. Of course he would be fine without you. Yea, he may be hurt but he would eventually move on, just like you would. Sure, he could have lied and said he wouldn't be able to go on without you, but do you really want to date a guy who would say something just to please you.
GTCB GTCB 5 years
This is one of those situations where there is no good answer. It's kind of like when a woman asks a man if "she looks fat in this". There is no winner, just losers. Everyone else has already covered what you need to hear.
genesisrocks genesisrocks 5 years
Your boyfriend seems honest, which sometimes hurts. But honestly wouldn't you be more concerned if your boyfriend said he would never be happy without you? At the risk of an understatement, a lot of people get their hearts broken at least once and most of them move on.
mondaymoos mondaymoos 5 years
You know how they say you can't be happy with someone else until you're happy with yourself? I'm thinking your boyfriend has that. I might take a while to look into if you do.
myhousemd myhousemd 5 years
I said the same thing to my now ex. (Don't read into that. It's still really complicated, and we still love each other.) I fell deeply, madly in love with my previous boyfriend. It took me over six months to get over him. But one thing I learned from that experience is that happiness is a choice. No matter who or what I lose, I can still be happy. Happiness is not dependent upon outside factors, it is dependent upon me and my choices and how I choose to see the world. I know now that no matter how much I love someone, I can move on if it ends up not working out. That doesn't mean I expect another relationship not to work out, or that I don't want it to work out, but I know I'm strong enough to be alone afterwards.
Rjs-baby-girl Rjs-baby-girl 5 years
He's just being honest and realistic, my husband is like that too, and you know what, it's one of the reasons why I'm with him. He doesn't lie to me and say that I'm perfect and that he would die without me and never find anyone else if I left or when I die. Even when we were just dating or when I would ask a stupid question, he would tell the honest truth and say that he is not like other guys, he won't tell me what I want to hear just to make me happy. I was with guys like that before him and finally, someone who doesn't mind to disagree with me! Yes, it's not the nicest thing to hear at first, and please if you asked the question don't do that again, but when you think about it... would you become a nun and never meet anybody else if he were to leave you? Truth is, in a lifetime, people are most likely to have more than one love, and when we are in love, we always feel like it's the right one. Sometimes it isn't, we are hurt, we need time to heal and we move on. Then we find another one. Sometimes the first is the one that sticks for a lifetime. Nobody can predict the future.
aliciatx aliciatx 5 years
Yeah, that's not what you wanted to hear I'm sure, but is it really that bad? I mean, if you two don't end up together, you would be sad & hurt, but I'm SURE you would be ok as well. Don't let it make you feel bad.
Rory1225 Rory1225 5 years
Did you ask him this? Because that is really lame if you did, and you deserved the answer you got. It sounds like he has a sense of self, which is important in a relationship. He is basically saying that he cares for you, but that he would pick himself up and move on if you guys broke up. I'm assuming that is not what you wanted to hear. You wanted to hear "Oh I don't know how I would go on. You are my everything, I would die without you!!!!!!!!" I think those people are the real ones to stay away from.
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