My boyfriend invited me to spend Christmas with his family (just his older sister, her husband and children, not his parents) this past year. I was really ambivalent about agreeing to meet his family, especially since we hadn't been going out for very long, but after much persuading on his part, he convinced me it would be OK.
I went and thought it went pretty well. After Christmas I asked him what his family thought of me, and since it seemed like Christmas had went well I wasn't really expecting any negative feedback. He told me that his sister thought I was too quiet for him and she thought he should be with someone more outgoing and sociable than me. How she gleaned all of this from meeting me for 5 hours, once, I find really insulting. And what's worse, I actually liked his sister when I met her.
When I questioned him about what she was telling him, his response was "she liked you, but she just wants the best for me," implying that I am not good enough for him. When he saw this made me really upset, he didn't seem to understand and told me that it didn't matter what his sister thought, that he still liked me and wanted to be with me.
Since he is extremely close with his sister and values her opinion highly, I worry that her opinion matters a lot more than he lets on. Since Christmas I feel like he's been distant, but he still wants me to do things with his family and he doesn't want to break up. How do I make him understand that this upsets me and it does matter. And how do I face his family in the future, knowing that they have issues with my personality?