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Boyfriend Still on Online Dating Site

Group Therapy: My Boyfriend Is Still on Online Dating Sites

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!


I just found out that my bf is actually into online dating such as Zoosk, Getiton, and other dating sites online. Please advise what to do — should I panic or tell him that I found out all this because unfortunately he forgot to close his email and I was able to read it all there. We've been together for three years — and a long distance relationship. I have confronted him about this before but he said he was already a member in this before we met. And I told him to deactivate all these sites, but still he's on. And he told me it was just nothing so we don't have to talk about it it's just all teasing especially he is working in Afghanistan and it's really hard to live a life there. He said he loves me and doesn't want anybody else. Basically I just have to ignore all this. I've tried, but sometimes I can't stop thinking of it. Please advise what should I tell him. I want all this to stop.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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confused-woman confused-woman 4 years
Its not FB - Zoosk is one of them and it really bothers me a lot.
Serene18 Serene18 4 years
And if you don't want to take it to the extreme just tell him your going to leave him if they aren't taken down. Bet his reaction will be different. they don't like when you plan to leave them, makes em work harder :). Besides he wouldn't need that site. This isn't Facebook.
Serene18 Serene18 4 years
If your so paranoid have him delete the rest of them. Now after you ask him and come to find out there still there; you need to leave him be. He knows it bothers you and it would be inconsiderate if he didn't do as asked. He has no business on a dating site regardless of how long ago he joined. Let him know your not playing games. That's just his way of 'secretly' having a backup plan.. Hes s grown ass man. He knows what he's doing, trust.
danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years
Gut feeling is telling me he's up to no good.
henna-red henna-red 4 years
There are a lot of opportunities to socialize online that don't include dating. If he's having flirtations online with women other than you, then he's already emotionaly unfaithful. Yes, it's haaaaard to in the service and away from your girl, you family, but remember the best prdicter of future behavior is current and part behavior. If he's playing with a sexual flirtation on line now, there is no resean to believe he won't continue that when he gets home. If he doesn't believe that unfailthful now, why would he believe it's unfaithful later, when he's home. Lots of people justify this, by saying if there's no physical contact, it's OK. A healthy relationship is more that just hands on, it's about your intentions and involvement emotionaly. Tell him what your feeling are, what your beliefs are, what your boudaries are, and if he can't respect them, then you need to let him go and find someone who does respect them. Good luck, distance and ther service make everything harder for both. (ask him to talk to a counselor over there, to help get some understanding of your concerns and boundaries.) Best of luck, blessings to you
missmaryb missmaryb 4 years
Your response depends on his status on these sites. Is he still talking to girls? I'm thinking he is, if he's claiming it's keeping life fun while he's oversea and that's it's all just harmless teasing. In that case? Not cool, and I would kick him to the curb if he needs to flirt online to survive over there.
Bellasupergirl Bellasupergirl 4 years
He can cancel ny account. After 3 years, there i sno reason he should still get any of them. You should have just blocked them in his email account and called it a day! I do still get match.com emails from over a year ago, however I put them in my span bin. And if those emails on his account are read, its not just a "random" thing. Seriously, have him remove them all, while you're there.
yekti yekti 4 years
I love my boyfriend but I still receive the irritating emails from match.com I don't even open them. the story is one day (a year into the relationship) I was so bored I clicked on their link. and until this day I receive the emails. I know I just need a simple deactivation but I keep postponing it. and I'm not even in Afghanistan! so I think you should drop this. it's not a big deal. and this comes from a woman with trust issues! so go figure!! good luck!
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