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Boyfriend Wants to Get Back Together After Breakup

Group Therapy: Mixed Signals or What?

This question comes from Group Therapy in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My ex-boyfriend who recently broke up with me, sent me an e-mail telling me that he messed everything up, that he regrets it, that he knows things will never be the same. That he has nothing to live for! I asked if we could perhaps meet and talk and see where it takes us. He insisted that he has a feeling that things will not be the same. That he does want to see me but that he had already made plans.

I was surprised that after sounding so sad and like if he was taking the whole break up really hard that he would not jump at the chance for us to reconcile. I haven't heard from him since. Why would he say all those things if he didn't mean them? Or did he? and is just having a hard time facing me since he acted very cowardly when he broke up with me? 

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it, anonymously, to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Lenay Lenay 6 years
I'm guessing that at least one of his friends (or relatives) liked you and thought that he was unnecessarily harsh on you. The email was meant to "make nice" and possibly squelch some of his guilt feelings for being a jerk to you. But, trust me, he's not suicidal and he doesn't want you back.
soulsearcher83 soulsearcher83 6 years
Forget about him. He did it to see if you still wanted him. He did it for an ego boost. You don't need a loser like that around.
jessicaeden jessicaeden 6 years
I agree with the other posters -- if he was sincere about wanting you back, he would not have said that he had other plans, or if he couldn't cancel his plans, he would have at least suggested another date/time to meet up. There is somewhere better and more deserving out there for you!!
kimmieb124 kimmieb124 6 years
I agree with jazzytummy that the fact that he emailed rather than called says a lot. If he was serious about talking with you, he would have picked up the phone and tried to have an actual conversation. He's been extremely immature about the whole thing. Like others have said, he may by trying to seem like less of a jerk after the way he broke up with you or he may just be looking for an ego boost. Either way, I don't think you should waste any more time on him.
janneth janneth 6 years
He already made plans...what a joke. Bye bye.
janneth janneth 6 years
He already made plans...what a joke.Bye bye.
runningesq runningesq 6 years
That he has nothing to live for! He's being immature and overly dramatic. Move on.
runningesq runningesq 6 years
<i>That he has nothing to live for!</i>He's being immature and overly dramatic.Move on.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
"That he does want to see me but that he had already made plans." Truthfully, in light of this, and if I were you, I would forget about him. Clearly, he is NOT following through on his words. This means his words are EMPTY. Hollow words. He's giving you lip service, if you will. In my (blunt) opinion, he's a huge waste of your personal resources on many levels (your time, your attention, you energy, etc.). If you value your personal resources (and this speaks to your self-esteem), you will stop giving him your personal resources, as you are getting practically nothing positive from him. JMHO.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 6 years
"That he does want to see me but that he had already made plans."Truthfully, in light of this, and if I were you, I would forget about him. Clearly, he is NOT following through on his words. This means his words are EMPTY. Hollow words. He's giving you lip service, if you will.In my (blunt) opinion, he's a huge waste of your personal resources on many levels (your time, your attention, you energy, etc.). If you value your personal resources (and this speaks to your self-esteem), you will stop giving him your personal resources, as you are getting practically nothing positive from him. JMHO.
AlyCarolina AlyCarolina 6 years
Agree with Jazzytummy.. I just think he its trying to feed his ego or just wants to clean his conditions or maybe he was drunk when he wrote you I had a case like that but i just laughed.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 6 years
He knew he was a dick to you and is trying to clear his conscience to make himself feel better. It has nothing to do with wanting to get back together. Think about it....he E-MAILED you. No phone call. You mentioned the word cowardly, well, here it is again. Move on. He does not want to get back together with you. Find yourself a real man, not a baby.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 6 years
He knew he was a dick to you and is trying to clear his conscience to make himself feel better. It has nothing to do with wanting to get back together.Think about it....he E-MAILED you. No phone call. You mentioned the word cowardly, well, here it is again.Move on. He does not want to get back together with you. Find yourself a real man, not a baby.
Venus1 Venus1 6 years
To be blunt, I think you are well out of this one.
mix-tape mix-tape 6 years
He thinks he made a mistake in trying to get back with you. He changed his mind and cancelled meeting up with you. If you were the love of his life and he REALLY wanted to make it work again he would cancel anything that came between reaching that goal. Sorry honey, move on and never look back. I did the whole break up, then get back together thing for a while. It never works out.
Regrets Regrets 6 years
I have something similar going on, apart from we decided to get back together after our blip. We are still taking some time apart (even though together still) because of the things which came up in our chat getting back together. We both needed time, although I've had enough now, we are not seeing each until next week to sort it out properly. He may need more time to put together his thoughts on what he really wants. But as long as you both understand fully why you broke up in the first place, including the lead up to that point, then things can talked about properly and constructively. Thats what happened with my bf and I. Good luck :)
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 6 years
OP, He is definitely sending you mixed signals because this whole thing is one big dilemma for him. I think you should sit down with him and try to help him work out this dilemma. If you decide to try this, let me know, I have some ideas on how to approach such a discussion.
JoeTyndall JoeTyndall 6 years
OP, He is definitely sending you mixed signals because this whole thing is one big dilemma for him. I think you should sit down with him and try to help him work out this dilemma. If you decide to try this, let me know, I have some ideas on how to approach such a discussion.
Raynne413 Raynne413 6 years
It's very possible that he just wanted to see if you would come running back. . . basically an ego boost for him.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
It sounds like someone who's remorseful for being a jerk trying to cleanse his conscience but not necessarily want to get back together with you because he knows you guys weren't working out as a couple. It's not mixed signals to me, but I can understand why it can be interpreted that way because you stil hold some residual feelings for him. Just move on with your life, accept that he's just doing such thing to get rid off his guilt for being a d1ck to you. Good luck, sweetie.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 6 years
It sounds like someone who's remorseful for being a jerk trying to cleanse his conscience but not necessarily want to get back together with you because he knows you guys weren't working out as a couple.It's not mixed signals to me, but I can understand why it can be interpreted that way because you stil hold some residual feelings for him.Just move on with your life, accept that he's just doing such thing to get rid off his guilt for being a d1ck to you. Good luck, sweetie.
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