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Boyfriend Watches Porn While on the Phone

Sunday Confessional: Caught My BF Watching Porn While on the Phone With Me

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

The other night when we were talking on the phone (as we usually do before bed), my BF was really quiet and wasn't saying a lot. All of a sudden I heard a girl moaning in the background, then it quickly shut off. There was this really intense silence, and then all of a sudden he was talking about anything and everything. I didn't say anything because it was really awkward and weird . . . but I couldn't and still can't stop feeling upset, almost angry by it. I know most men watch porn, but why does he have to watch it with me on the phone? Like what is that about? We have a good sex life but now I can't help but feel even more self-conscious and ugly than I already do. How would you guys feel in this situation?

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Harley-Quinn Harley-Quinn 4 years
First off you need to talk to him about this. Don't get angry or upset with him. Just inquiry about what happened. For all we know he was flipping channels and some hot scene came on. Until you know what is going on your just jumping to conclusion that are possibly not the truth. I think you would feel less insecure or angry about it if you understood what exactly happened. If it was me, I would have made a joke and laughed about it. Men watch porn they are visual people. I would not let his interest bring my self esteem down. I would use it as an excuse to get to know my guy better.
Hiruseki Hiruseki 4 years
In a previous relationship, I caught my boyfriend watching porn while I was on the phone. I was weirded out at first and called him out on it. He sounded really embarrassed by it. Personally, I've never been offended by him watching porn. We had a great sex life and nothing was wrong in our relationship so I always viewed it as just a guy thing. You should talk to him about it. Try to keep it light and casual so that it's less awkward for both of you. And try to not let it reflect on you. Those girls are all fantasies. Sexually attractive, yes, but that's their job. You are the real deal and he's with you for that and so much more.
danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years
"I can't help but feel even more self-conscious and ugly than I already do." I think it's time to start working on yourself. Your self esteem is shot and you're not going to have a healthy relationship until you feel comfortable being you. This isn't him, it's you.
danakscully64 danakscully64 4 years
"I can't help but feel even more self-conscious and ugly than I already do."I think it's time to start working on yourself. Your self esteem is shot and you're not going to have a healthy relationship until you feel comfortable being you. This isn't him, it's you.
luckyduckyy luckyduckyy 4 years
Ummm...I don't know if you already know this, but perhaps your boyfriend was checking one of those link sites geared towards men, like existenz.com. There are all kinds of links, like to shocking sites, porn sites, youtube videos, news articles, and to pictures of cute animals or interesting things. My boyfriend and I browse that site fairly often, and I'm always amazed at how a link that leads to pictures of cute fluffy animals will also have pornographic ads and links surrounding the sides and top of the page. There will even be sex sounds coming from the page. So don't assume he was watching porn. He could have been looking at something entirely different. So, just talk with him about it. Maybe he was watching porn, and you have every reason to be upset about that. Not because he watches porn, that's natural, but because he was watching it while talking to you. Of course you would feel like you're not worth his time if he can't focus on you for that short while. However, if that's not that case and he was perhaps browsing one of those sites, then you shouldn't be upset. Just talk with him about it.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 4 years
Maybe you called while he was already watching? Or he was flipping through channels and stopped on it not realizing you would hear it? I would pay attention to make sure it wasn't something he does all the time, but it could have been an accident which is why he then seemed so embarrassed. If he was an asshole he wouldn't care if you heard or tried to hide it. Men watch porn. It has nothing to do with you or his satisfaction in your relationship or how much he cares about you. You should only be worried if his porn watching habits interfere with your sex life. You are a great woman and should not feel ugly because of this. You were spending the night apart and for all you know he could be incorporating you into his fantasies and uses the porn as a little help. Don't feel self conscious- any good man knows that the real deal is way better than a movie.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 4 years
Maybe you called while he was already watching? Or he was flipping through channels and stopped on it not realizing you would hear it? I would pay attention to make sure it wasn't something he does all the time, but it could have been an accident which is why he then seemed so embarrassed. If he was an asshole he wouldn't care if you heard or tried to hide it. Men watch porn. It has nothing to do with you or his satisfaction in your relationship or how much he cares about you. You should only be worried if his porn watching habits interfere with your sex life. You are a great woman and should not feel ugly because of this. You were spending the night apart and for all you know he could be incorporating you into his fantasies and uses the porn as a little help. Don't feel self conscious- any good man knows that the real deal is way better than a movie.
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years
This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the fact that this guy is a dick head. So get the idea that your body is sub-par out of your head RIGHT THIS MINUTE. Was he at least attentive to the convo? Maybe you called while it was on, and he wasn't paying attention to it while he was talking to you. You should have brought it up right away, but too late. Next time you talk to him, ask him jokingly, You turned the porn off this time right?
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 4 years
This has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the fact that this guy is a dick head. So get the idea that your body is sub-par out of your head RIGHT THIS MINUTE.Was he at least attentive to the convo? Maybe you called while it was on, and he wasn't paying attention to it while he was talking to you. You should have brought it up right away, but too late. Next time you talk to him, ask him jokingly, You turned the porn off this time right?
Senix Senix 4 years
I understand your feelings completely. I have not been in such situation, but I can imagine how bad you're feeling now about yourself, your body and your sex life. Though I have to admit, that most guys watch porn not to add something to their sex life, but just cause they are guys. The fact that he is watching porn while on the phone with you, unaware of this fact, is a bit weird. I'd try to have a talk about this with him. Don't make him ashamed of his behaviour, since it's completely normal, but do talk about your feelings now. if he loves you, he'll definitely try to convince you that your body, your sex-life and so on has nothing to do with the fact that he occasionally watches porn. THOUGH (!!) if the porn starts to grow more important than you and your relationship, then something is wrong! Be warned for such signs!
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