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Was Breaking Up The Best Choice?

Dear Sugar
I just recently ended a four month, long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He told me that he felt pressured into making a commitment and that I was taking things way too fast for his liking. Seeing as he doesn't have much dating experience, I was feeling constantly misunderstood by him.

I know that at one point he had extremely strong, loving feelings toward me, but lately, I've felt a distance between us. I constantly felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him. Do you think that I did the right thing by ending the relationship? Broken Up Betty

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Breakup Betty
Walking on eggshells in any relationship is never fun. Long distance relationships can be hard, and an important caveat to making them work is having open lines of communication. It sounds as though you and your man were not on the same page. Are you upset about not having Mr. Long Distance in your life anymore or having him not know the real reason why you broke up with him?

Wait a little while longer and see if you really miss him and want to try to make it work again. If so, start by being open and honest with him and ask him to do the same. Try telling each other what worked, what didn't work, and what makes you both happy; that way you are guaranteed to be on the same page.

Also, if you are feeling unsettled about him not understanding why you broke up with him, I suggest explaining your rationale in a way that will not make him feel pressured or put off. Sometimes couples break up even though they still care for each other. If you were feeling insecure in your relationship, then I think you did the right thing by ending it. Time will tell if you made the right move.

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Join The Conversation
lpyle79 lpyle79 9 years
It's only four months, get over it girlfriend.
herbiefrog herbiefrog 9 years
maybe he hasnt even noticed yet? ...that you think you are boken up?
egmorin egmorin 9 years
After four months, what would be making him feel pressured? Were you asking him when you would get engaged or if he was wanting to marry you? My advice in life is never to look back - learn from your mistakes in your past relationships so the same problems don't happen in your next relationship. But regret? Never. If he felt pressured, he should have calmly told you how he felt in a way that made you feel secure. If he reacted in a way that made you feel like you were walking around on eggshells, he's not ready to handle the stresses that a long-distance relationship will bring. You made the right choice!
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