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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Dear Sugar
I live with my boyfriend of a year and a half. We are trying to mend our relationship after he was unfaithful with my former best friend. When I found out about his infidelity, he told me he was in love her. I was beyond devastated but I begged him to give our relationship one more try.

Lately I have realized that this incident has changed me into someone I really don't like. I have become very angry and am always picking fights with my boyfriend. He has been very vocal about my behavior but I can't seem to stop myself. I love him so much but am afraid my bitchy ways are going to push him away. I feel trapped, what do I do? Angry Alyssa

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Angry Alyssa
I give you credit for trying to work out your relationship with the man you love, but it sounds like his infidelity has taken a real toll on you. Do you trust your boyfriend now that you've found out that he's cheated on you? Is he still in love with your former friend? I understand you want this relationship to work, but isn't your gut telling you to run for the hills?

If you are not happy with the person you have become - then make a change! Perhaps you should take a break from your boyfriend for a while and get yourself strong and centered again. Holding onto a one sided relationship is bound to leave you with a broken heart. You say you love him but you need to love yourself more.

You are most likely picking fights with him for attention because deep down, you know he isn't giving you his all. Your anger could be stemming from unresolved feelings from his infidelity, we all know that cheating with your best friend is not something to take lightly. If you decide to stay together, I recommend couples therapy to help you both manage and release your anger.

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