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Breakups are the Worst

Dear Sugar
I need some uplifting words. I was in a relationship with the love of my life for a year. He was mildly abusive but I loved him so much I would have done anything for him. We did the make up break up thing a few times until he left me for good and now I am utterly crushed.

I struggle to get out of bed in the mornings and my thoughts are consumed with everything him. I wish I could remember what it was like before I knew him, before my spirit was bruised. While I am home crying, he is out drinking and hanging out with out mutual friends who no longer talk to me.

I have had opportunities to date men that seem extremely kind, but I just can't imagine being with anyone else, it just feels so forced, yet I am struggling being by myself. I don't know why I love someone who has been so cruel to me. I am hoping you have some words of wisdom to help me get through this time. Wounded Winnie


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Dear Wounded Winnie
I am sorry you are hurting. It sounds like the end of your relationship was a long time coming and although love can be blind, try to remember that abuse, no matter how severe is never OK. Breakups are extremely painful and any way you slice it, they stink, but try to remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you have a friend you can confide in and spend time with when you are lonely? Do whatever makes you feel good and keep busy. Time is an amazing healer and the only thing that will make your pain go away. There is nothing wrong with not being ready to date, again that will take time, but don't kid yourself by thinking this abusive man is the only one for you. Be strong, keep your chin up, and lean on your friends and family, that's what they are there for!

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