Listen Up, Brides: Here Are the 9 Rules of Bridesmaid Etiquette

You're engaged! Now it's time to pop the wedding party question. Once you narrow down who you want, you can simply ask them in person or over the phone (pass on the email this time). Another fun idea? Send a personal card that will get the message across and also act as a sweet memento. When you do talk to them, be upfront about the time and monetary commitments.

The wedding party has long-established duties, but what you have yours do depends on just how traditional you want your wedding. Typically, you can expect bridesmaids to cohost a bridal shower or bachelorette party, and it's reasonable to ask your maid of honor to take the lead. On the big day, your wedding party can help with any last minute issues or errands.

It's a huge honor when someone asks you to be in her wedding, but if a person cannot commit to being a dedicated bridesmaid, she might decline. Be grateful for her honesty — after all, you don't want a friend to resent you if she can't handle the responsibilities. And since the person declining is likely very important to you, feel free to include her in any of the pre-wedding preparations or the wedding itself.

On your big day, you can dictate your wedding party's attire. That ranges from having them all wear a certain color to picking out a specific dress — just remember that you want your bridesmaids to feel comfortable. And if you have preferences about jewelry, hair, or shoes, it's all about how you ask. Make sure you don't come off as demanding or unrealistic.

Typically bridesmaids pay for the dresses, so that's something else to keep in mind, especially if you pick a pricey dress — your bridesmaids may not be able to pay for it. The wedding party is also expected to pay for their own hair and makeup, so it's fair to give them the option of doing it themselves. As for other necessities on the day of the wedding, such as transportation and lunch, it's a nice gesture to treat the wedding party if you can.

In trying to keep your guest list in check, you might decide to only invite married or engaged couples, or partners you know well. But if you can swing it, be a little more lenient for your bridal party and allow them to bring any date. They're the VIPs, after all. Of course, your bridesmaids might pass on the plus one and go solo!

It's hard to include every person that matters to you, but I'm sure close friends and family will be happy to participate in another capacity. You can ask a cousin or old friend to do a reading at your ceremony, or have a family member act as your officiant if they qualify.

Rather than kick out an uninvolved bridesmaid, it's usually best to take the high road and avoid any extra drama surrounding your wedding. When a bridesmaid has checked out, try to understand any monetary or emotional limitations she's dealing with. If you really don't want the person in your wedding, ask yourself the questions you would ask before ending a friendship — since that could very well happen.

That's cool! It's totally acceptable to have no wedding party attendants at all. Your good friends and family can help you with pre-wedding parties and plans, and you can ask someone close to you to sign your wedding license. And now that we're talking unconventional, it's your big day, so feel free to do whatever you like. That includes having two maids of honor or having your best guy friend as your attendant too!