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Build Up Your Confidence

Dear Sugar
A position has just opened up in my department at work and I want to apply for it. The problem is that the two other guys in my group are older and and were hired before me so I feel weird vying for it. I know that it's a dog-eat-dog world, so why shouldn't I go for it, but I am worried about the guys making my life miserable if I get promoted before them.

On the other hand, I am afraid of the rejection if I don't get it. I know that I have a decent shot, because my boss always compliments my work, but I'd hate to face her every day knowing that she chose someone else over me. Either way, I feel like our department is going to have a weird dynamic to it once one of us is chosen for this higher level position. What do you think I should do? Get Ahead Gertie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Get Ahead Gertie
You can only hope that the best person for the job will get it. If you think you are that person, then go for it. You'll kick yourself later when the moment passes you by. What worries me is that the comment you made about fearing rejection. If your boss likes your work, then you should feel more confident.

In general, it seems like women just don't want to compete, whereas men relish in it (Health Magazine, 6-06). Maybe your co-workers are trying to psych you out and make you feel less adequate than you are. Have you ever thought they might be doing that because they feel threatened by you?

Here are some things you can do to build up your confidence and grow to like a healthy competition:

  • 1. Compete with yourself to get used to the idea of competition. Play chess online against yourself or race against your own best score.
  • 2. Now that you are OK with winning something - up your ante. Enter a real race, sign up for a cooking competition (everyone always brags about your pies), or submit an article that you've written to be published. These are really big steps that will seem like a natural progression and before you know it, you'll feel like a million bucks!
  • 3. You are now accustomed to competition. You've challenged yourself in smaller but important competitions where even though you may have lost, at least you've ranked. This time, play to win.
  • Go for the promotion Gertie, you know you want it!

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Join The Conversation
heatherp heatherp 9 years
go for it - nobody else is going to go to bat for you if you do not.
TruJrzyGirl TruJrzyGirl 9 years
I've had my own office for two years now, it will suck the day I start job hunting and have to go back to a cubicle ... YIK ... I hate people ontop of me, glancing at my screen and listening to my phone calls ... Nosey neighbors !
haze1nut haze1nut 9 years
*screams out loud* You should try for the job!!! if you get that job instead of the two other guys, then that means you deserve it and you shouldn't feel any guilt bc they based it on the quality of your work. if you don't get the job,that's okay. because isn't it better to know you tried than to not know what could've happened?!? and don't let rejection udermine your confidence in yourself, it's a competitive world so use this experience to make yourself stronger.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
the guys might not even want the job. if you want it why not try. how would it look to your boss if you didn't put in for it? i put in for a job once when i was new to a company and had less experience that the others i know would be applying. i WANTED that job and i think that's a big part of why i got it. when you really care and are invested in the position that's noticed. if you don't get it they will still remember you next time a position comes up and mybe you won't have to interview that go round; maybe they will just offer it to you :)
My-Opinion My-Opinion 9 years
I agree with all of ya'll*
t0xxic t0xxic 9 years
Go for it hun!! and GL u can do it I am sure. Never doubt urself if ur into it!
sabrinaland sabrinaland 9 years
I was in the same position. I was the only young woman applying for a job at my office. Everyone else was male and much older. I was totally convinced I wasn't going to get the job, so I went in with a take-no-prisoners attitude and wound up being really honest with the interviewer. I was very surprised when I got the job! I say go for it, you never know. Don't worry about what will happen afterwards because you can only guess.
sabrinaland sabrinaland 9 years
I was in the same position. I was the only young woman applying for a job at my office. Everyone else was male and much older. I was totally convinced I wasn't going to get the job, so I went in with a take-no-prisoners attitude and wound up being really honest with the interviewer. I was very surprised when I got the job! I say go for it, you never know. Don't worry about what will happen afterwards because you can only guess.
Snoop3 Snoop3 9 years
Go for it! You don't want to regret something that you don't do. A motto a basketball coach once told me back in the day is "You 100% of the shots you don't take". It's true in the real world too!
yayita yayita 9 years
KIck their *sses girl! you can do it. Wish you the best but know that some places will give the position to the person next in line. Find out if that is the case in your job.
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