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Is Calling My New Crush Too Aggressive?

Dear Sugar
I have been seeing this new guy at my school for about two months now. He is great and we have been having so much fun together. He is polite, smart, witty, and a total gentleman around both me, my friends and my parents.

I hate to sound like a typical insecure female, but I freak out when he says he will call and he doesn't. I don't know whether to take the initiative and call him or just wait for him to call me. Impatient Isabelle

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Impatient Isabella
The waiting game can often feel like an eternity. When he says he will call and doesn't follow through, how long are you waiting by the phone? A few hours or a few days? Have you established the status of your relationship? Has your crush always made the first move? Since you have been dating now for two months, I think it is perfectly acceptable for you to take the initiative and call him.

I understand your frustration with your lack of phone attention. Perhaps you should let him know you get hurt feelings when he doesn't follow through with his phone call promises. Try to have a relaxed attitude about it, if your guy's only downfall is he sometimes loses track of time, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Good luck.

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Join The Conversation
Luna13 Luna13 9 years
ive been in this situation like every girl on this earth has! The thing with me though is i am very stubborn and if he didnt call when he said he was then i wouldnt either. The thing is some men find this interesting that the girl doesnt phone him all the time and they start worrying!Men find independant girls very attractive as opposed to needy attached girls. I say dont phone him and let him wonder whats going on with you!!
soccer_obsessed soccer_obsessed 9 years
i agree with fancy and dearsugar
Fancy04 Fancy04 9 years
I agree with DearSugar.
Vsugar Vsugar 9 years
The above is all true - Guys are NOTORIOUSLY bad at calling, and you shouldn't necessarily take it personally. The next time he says he is going to call you, smile, and sweetly and cheekily say: "Yeah, you'd better!! - it is important to me that the people I spend my time with do what they say they are going to do, all the time, everytime. =)" And then if he doesn't call after that, he's a loser - move on. Other than that, it's totally ok to call him - just don't bug him, and keep it light. Good Luck.
vbpce vbpce 9 years
Don't let him know about your hurt feelings. It won't improve the situation, only make him think you're being too attached. Instead, call him (when he says he'll phone you) if you guys had previous plans. If not, then don't worry. Although keep in mind that if he doesn't consistently call you when he says he will, he's probably still deciding whether or not he wants to pursue this. The most helpful thing is therefore to figure out your status, because a gf can call much more frequently that a chick a guy is dating.
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