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Can I Propose A Proposal First?

Dear Sugar
Do you think that it's alright for a woman to bring up the question of marriage before the man does it?

Is it true that if a man is happy and content and lives with his girlfriend, he really won't have much of a reason to propose if he's already got everything he wants? Impatient Imelda

Dear Impatient Imelda
I think the answer is right there in your question ... "he really won't have much of a reason to propose if he's already got everything that he wants."

Have you ever heard of the expression, Why Buy The Cow When You Can Get The Milk For Free?

It's an oldie, but goodie because as the cycle of life continues it seems like it's the same story that's been going on for generations. It's not a hard, fast rule or anything, it's just that most men would rather wait longer before having to commit than women.

I don't want to get in trouble here - there are plenty of men who are romantics and who are looking for marriage. But, as nature would have it, women are "nesters" and men are "hunters."

That's why people will tell you not to live together before marriage. Once men are comfortable, they won't rock the boat.

My advice to you is to bring it up. But do yourself a favor and LISTEN carefully to his response. If he's got every excuse in the book why you shouldn't get married, then move on.

Don't drag the relationship out and torture yourself. He's trying to tell you that it's not going to happen. His response will be very clear because if he's hopelessly in love with you, then he's not going to let anything stand in the way.

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