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Can Men and Women Be Friends?

Can men and women be friends? It is an age-old question, and a heated one at that. Everyone has a different opinion on this subject and I am always fascinated by both points of view.



Skeptics tend to feel that either one person in the friendship harbors secret feelings for the other, or that the only way a man and a woman can be friends is if they have already crossed the platonic line earlier in their friendship. Those who do believe in different sex friendships are adamant about defending their relationships and dispelling any preconceived stigmas attached to male/female bonds.



While age and circumstance have a lot to do with it, do you feel men and women really can be just friends?

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foggytown8am foggytown8am 6 years
It depends on what you mean by "friends', but if you are asking whether they can be best friends... well, I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's very, very difficult unless a) one or both of the pair in the relationship has not yet hit puberty; b) they are both homosexual; c) they are already in romantic relationship (but once their relationship is over, their friendship will likely be over too); or d) they are related. It's very interesting how most of my female acquaintances believe they can, but practically all of my male ones believe they can't.
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 7 years
yes but no at the same time. The reason why I have guy friends now is that they were tired of being friends with my ex and just wanted to be buds with me. been friends with them for more than 4yrs no weird moments whatsoever. but if it was a guy i really liked and it didnt workout between us no, doesnt workout. i think unless you met a guy through a friend or a ex i think you can be friends...other than that i wont go there...anymore.
teamsugarguy teamsugarguy 8 years
Hey RunAroundClaire, I think if you like him, and vise versa, and your both single and your wondering "if something doesn't change", what you will do? Sounds like the only thing that can change is you flat out walking up to him and saying you like him. Nothing else can change. I see your post is from five weeks ago. If it works out, and you feel like it, let us know what happened! –TSG.
runaroundclaire runaroundclaire 8 years
True Story: I have known Alex since 11th grade, we are now 22 years old, about to graduate from college and still good friends, no, maybe best friends. I easily see Alex everyday, at some point, no matter what. We blow off others to hang out, sit around and watch movies, do all sorts of art, I make lunch, he makes dinner, and the awkwardness is officially killing my spirit. I have probably hooked up with Alex a total of four times. Each time, better than the last. The other night, we were sitting in my room watching "Life as a House", lounging around on the floor, drinking all sorts of lovely beverages around 1 am when Alex, the most amazingly fun and interestingly weird, intelligent, person I know put his hand on my leg, then his arm around me, then his head on my shoulder and his mouth on my neck and asked to me convince him to stay the night, and I turned him down!!! And I'm in love with him! Completely and utterly. And then we talked about it and he rattled about how he wouldn't take advantage of me and for crying out loud all I want to do is sleep with him! Christ! This was like 4 days ago and now the tension is so thick you could slice it with a knife and put it on toast! Someone respond to this comment and help me with my problem because this is literally, starting to take over my life. He's all I think about and he knows it, and I'm pretty sure if something doesn't change soon I am going to need a therapist.
runaroundclaire runaroundclaire 8 years
True Story: I have known Alex since 11th grade, we are now 22 years old, about to graduate from college and still good friends, no, maybe best friends. I easily see Alex everyday, at some point, no matter what. We blow off others to hang out, sit around and watch movies, do all sorts of art, I make lunch, he makes dinner, and the awkwardness is officially killing my spirit. I have probably hooked up with Alex a total of four times. Each time, better than the last. The other night, we were sitting in my room watching "Life as a House", lounging around on the floor, drinking all sorts of lovely beverages around 1 am when Alex, the most amazingly fun and interestingly weird, intelligent, person I know put his hand on my leg, then his arm around me, then his head on my shoulder and his mouth on my neck and asked to me convince him to stay the night, and I turned him down!!! And I'm in love with him! Completely and utterly. And then we talked about it and he rattled about how he wouldn't take advantage of me and for crying out loud all I want to do is sleep with him! Christ! This was like 4 days ago and now the tension is so thick you could slice it with a knife and put it on toast! Someone respond to this comment and help me with my problem because this is literally, starting to take over my life. He's all I think about and he knows it, and I'm pretty sure if something doesn't change soon I am going to need a therapist.
sabrinaBee sabrinaBee 8 years
yusukesgirlie almost read my mind. Personally I can't keep many close male friends as they end up liking me and therefore exactly as she said, i have to limit my contact because of awkward situations that may arise. I think men find it more difficult to keep a woman only a friend. Above all, I think that - no, a man and a woman can never be great close friends. One of them will surely be hiding secret feelings for the other. And if one of them is in a relationship, then surely another close friend of the opposite sex is not appropriate.
yusukesgirlie yusukesgirlie 8 years
I'm torn in the middle. well, not the middle, more like "If it weren't for that one particular guy friend i have, men and women could never be friends". Almost every guy who I've ever been really good friends with has either liked me, or I liked them...and that's not the easiest thing to ignore. Over time, you just start liking them more and more. The way I see it, the only difference between your best friend and a guy you're crazy for is that you find them attractive in some way. When you factor in that you found them physically attractive from the start, and THEN found out how completely awesome they were personality-wise, that makes you want them even more. i can only think of one guy friend who i truly love as a big brother and nothing more, and never got the "he likes me vibe" from. All the others i eventually had to limit my contact with because someone would feel awkward, someone's feelings would resurface, or their girlfriend/my boyfriend would feel threatened/uncomfortable. And also, my boyfriend has only had one close female friend while with me, and he ended up liking her within days of meeting her (he told me himself) Before that, he had a crush on a girl for like 10 years and still speaks to her from time to time. Now that i think about it, i can't think of any girl he ever told me about that he didn't end up liking(or vice versa)...which just backs up my point. heh, i didn't realize i'd have so much to say.
oinkoink oinkoink 8 years
I have a lot of male friends. I admit there have been a few that I've liked and I have no idea if some of them like me but I have a feeling that a few have. Who knows. I think that if both people like each other enough it will happen and if not it is possible to maintain a friendship. It depends on whether the person is really hurt or accepts that they will be nothing more than just friends. But I do believe that I have male friends where there are no sparks whatsoever between us or at least we know starting anything would be a bad idea.
marthalilian126 marthalilian126 8 years
My boyfriend puts me in the awkward situation of forcing me to except his exes as well as former friends-with-benefits. I've tried to explain to him that once you date someone or sleep with them, that the dynamics of the relationship is changed forever and that I am NOT comfortable with him maintaining 'friendships' with those girls... Then he tries to make me look like the psycho possessive, jealous girlfriend from hell. Keep in mind, that I am friends with some of his exes and have NO problem with his female friends who he was never sexually involved with. It is the romantic/sexual relationships that he refuses to put in the past that drive me up a wall!
mrspiven mrspiven 8 years
some of my best friends are males. they've been my friends since college and i wouldn't trade them for anything, just like my girl friends. but, there is never going to be anything romantic between us, they know that, my boyfriend knows that. the same goes for him: he has girl friends he's known longer than me, and i trust that his relatinship with them is like mine with my male friends. b
TexasRoyalty TexasRoyalty 8 years
I grew up as a tomboy, and the drama girls bring into friendships annoys me. While my best friend is a girl and I have my group of girl friends, I'd much rather kick back with the guys. Most of my friends are guys, and I can say that while I might find some of them cute or interesting, it only makes me appreciate them as a person and friend more. I wouldn't dream of dating any of my guy friends.
Pink81406 Pink81406 8 years
Just because there is a physical attraction doesn't mean there is a personality attraction. My best friend loves me as a friend, but I am too high maintenance to be a girl friend. It doesn't mean that I don't make a great friend, and I need more attention than he can give, so it works perfectly.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
yeah it can happen......
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
It's very rare that there is no attraction one way or another or mutually... so I find it extremely difficult to be "just friends" in the sense that there won't, at one point or another, be just a little something more on at least one side. But, not impossible...
xo_verity xo_verity 9 years
All my friends are girls, Ive tried being 'just friends' with a guy but it always ends up bad. So no. Guys are for dating!
kinkobaby kinkobaby 9 years
depends on how hot one of them is...
MsAnonymous MsAnonymous 9 years
i used to thinks you could be friends but i have learned so many times that this is untrue....somebody ALWAYS catches felings- whether they tell you or not is a whole other issue!
bookgirl bookgirl 9 years
I have quite a few guy friends and while there have been "slip-ups" in the past with a couple, I feel that I can still be just friends with them. I actually tend to get along really well with men. I think it also helps that I'm not really attracted to my male friends. So, while I can have a friendship with a male, I don't know if all ladies can.
cgmaetc cgmaetc 9 years
I know from experience that while a woman can be friends with a guy, it's MUCH HARDER for a man to be friends with a women, especially if he finds her even halfway attractive. I have many male friends where I have ZERO attraction to them, but I know what a few of them find me attractive. And, if I give them the opportunity, they would hook up with me if I asked. It's up to me to keep a distance and make sure the relationship stays platonic. So, it's not really a true friendship because I can't get to close or they will get thier signals crossed. SO, NO, men and women can't be friends... unless they are closely related...
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
Honestly, I really do not think it works out. Everytime i have been, it ends up someone wanting more...the only way the opposite sexs can be friends is through somoene else..thats it!
demeter demeter 9 years
No, I think there's always sexual tension between a man and a woman.
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