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Can You Have a Legitimate Relationship After an Affair?

What to Do When an Affair Leads to a Relationship?

LeAnn Rimes shook up her image last year when she started hooking up with Eddie Cibrian — who was married just like she was. Now that they're officially together, the newly divorced singer is facing some critics. After pictures of the couple's shirtless and bikini-filled vacation surfaced this week, LeAnn tweeted: "Since when is kissing your boyfriend a crime?!"

If two people fall in love when they're not exactly available, it's an uphill battle to move from scandalous to legitimate, especially among friends or family impacted by the affair. Sometimes kids have a hard time accepting a new step-parent who broke up their parents, like in the movie It's Complicated, but other times the two who came together under questionable circumstances just seem like they are made for each other. What would you do if a friend or family member had an affair and ended up in a legitimate relationship with the fellow adulterer?

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danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
I think in most cases, grow to accept it. I don't think accepting it is condoning it, those are two very different things. My soon to my ex SIL cheated on my brother. I just don't see the point... if you're unhappy and want to be with someone else, leave your bf/gf/wife/husband. When there's kids involved, it's even worse. The ironic part is the guy she cheated with almost beat a man to death (he was in a coma), the guy he found in bed with his wife.
missy1632 missy1632 5 years
Sorry, should have said "Sorry... I think THAT was a TMI post! " hehe.
missy1632 missy1632 5 years
Sorry, should have said "Sorry... I think THAT was a TMI post! "hehe.
missy1632 missy1632 5 years
I have also lived this. My Dad is unfortunately a repeat offender. He cheated with my mum on his first wife... and then he cheated on my mum with my newest 'step mum.' In defence to my mother, she did HONESTLY not know my Dad was married when they got together, in fact he had 2 families going at the same time. But with the newest step mum, she knew all along and was even a guest in our family home! I think that's wrong... also, this is what she said in her defence... "If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else"... Uh huh. Having said all this... the latest indiscretion was over 20 years ago... and I have no hard feelings. But some of my half siblings from my dad's first marriage still have massive chips on their shoulders... it's sad. My and my 'full' brother and sister get along really well with our younger half bro and sis. Sorry... I think was a TMI post!
missy1632 missy1632 5 years
I have also lived this. My Dad is unfortunately a repeat offender. He cheated with my mum on his first wife... and then he cheated on my mum with my newest 'step mum.' In defence to my mother, she did HONESTLY not know my Dad was married when they got together, in fact he had 2 families going at the same time. But with the newest step mum, she knew all along and was even a guest in our family home! I think that's wrong... also, this is what she said in her defence... "If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else"... Uh huh.Having said all this... the latest indiscretion was over 20 years ago... and I have no hard feelings. But some of my half siblings from my dad's first marriage still have massive chips on their shoulders... it's sad. My and my 'full' brother and sister get along really well with our younger half bro and sis. Sorry... I think was a TMI post!
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 5 years
I agree -- it really depends on the circumstances. Generally, I find there are two sides to every story. Also, there is a stigma attached to couples that started off as affairs, troubled (or abusive) marriages notwithstanding. Yes, it's unfair. But as they say, sometimes life is unfair.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 5 years
I agree -- it really depends on the circumstances. Generally, I find there are two sides to every story.Also, there is a stigma attached to couples that started off as affairs, troubled (or abusive) marriages notwithstanding. Yes, it's unfair. But as they say, sometimes life is unfair.
stephley stephley 5 years
I think when you're in the family affected the situation is somewhat different. An affair would have to touch on issues/feelings of personal betrayal, family loyalty, a child's expectations of parents, etc. But for friends and neighbors to stand in judgment for years is ridiculous.
stephley stephley 5 years
I think when you're in the family affected the situation is somewhat different. An affair would have to touch on issues/feelings of personal betrayal, family loyalty, a child's expectations of parents, etc. But for friends and neighbors to stand in judgment for years is ridiculous.
SpilledCandy SpilledCandy 5 years
Twenty five years and nobody can move on. I hope that second wife has decided she doesn't want any part of those bitter and angry people. Their 'punishment' will not change the outcome. I married the man with whom I had an affair, behind my now ex-husband's back. I love my homewrecker, and anyone who wants to pass judgment on me can go pound sand; they aren't a part of my social circle any longer. I have no time nor energy for small minded people like that.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 5 years
There is no excuse for why a person in a relationship can't split up before starting something with someone else.
luna08 luna08 5 years
It's such a hard question, and I think particular to each situation. In this case, I think LR needs to realize that it's going to take time for her relationship to be accepted, and just wait with grace. That said, I want her workout regime, she looks amazing!!
luna08 luna08 5 years
It's such a hard question, and I think particular to each situation. In this case, I think LR needs to realize that it's going to take time for her relationship to be accepted, and just wait with grace.That said, I want her workout regime, she looks amazing!!
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I understand the difficulty accepting a relationship that began on these circumstances... but... sometimes it does happen. It's not always a black & white issue. I'm not condoning cheating by any means, but it's just not always that clear-cut of a situation. My dad was married with kids when he met my mom. The marriage was horrid, the woman my dad was married to was horrid. When my mom and dad finally got married, the youngest child was happy to have my mom step in and help take care of him. He was still quite young, but he told my mom that he loved her and she did things with him that his mom would never do (his mom basically abandoned him). My parents are still married (they met in '79). So, yeah, it's not necessarily the best of situations, but sometimes there can be more to it than meets the eye.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 5 years
I understand the difficulty accepting a relationship that began on these circumstances... but... sometimes it does happen. It's not always a black & white issue. I'm not condoning cheating by any means, but it's just not always that clear-cut of a situation. My dad was married with kids when he met my mom. The marriage was horrid, the woman my dad was married to was horrid. When my mom and dad finally got married, the youngest child was happy to have my mom step in and help take care of him. He was still quite young, but he told my mom that he loved her and she did things with him that his mom would never do (his mom basically abandoned him). My parents are still married (they met in '79).So, yeah, it's not necessarily the best of situations, but sometimes there can be more to it than meets the eye.
skigurl skigurl 5 years
I would have trouble accepting the homewrecker. I'm just like that.
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
We had this happen in our neighborhood. The husband had an affair, he married the other woman, no one would befriend the second wife. Well, it's been 25 years now and it's still the same attitude toward this couple. I pointed out to my dad awhile back that it's been 25 years now, time to move on. "wrong is wrong", he said.
starbucks2 starbucks2 5 years
I loved that movie! It depends on he circumstances I guess. If a friend of mine cheated on the partner and got together with the other woman/man I'd accept it. But I don't think had my father cheated and then introduced her as his new girlfriend that I could ever accept her. It would also really strain my relationship with him (like in the movie).
starbucks2 starbucks2 5 years
I loved that movie!It depends on he circumstances I guess. If a friend of mine cheated on the partner and got together with the other woman/man I'd accept it. But I don't think had my father cheated and then introduced her as his new girlfriend that I could ever accept her. It would also really strain my relationship with him (like in the movie).
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