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Can't Seem To Get Him Off My Mind

Can't Seem To Get Him Off My Mind

Dear Sugar
6 years ago I dated the biggest jerk on the world. Luckily enough for me, the relationship ended and I have moved on. Every once in a while we still bump into each other due to mutual friends - I still stay away and try not to say hi (must be a case of eternal bitterness).

The worst part of it is that I can't seem to get him out of my head. I still think about the ways he hurt me and all the bad memories. Is this normal? How can I finally get over it and never think of this person again? I need sanity! Delusional Deanna

Dear Delusional Deanna
Are you dating anybody else or have you dated anyone since your breakup? I think that "moving on to the next" is the best way to actually and finally get over someone. It's like the saying goes. When one door closes, another door opens.

It sounds like because he broke your heart and you feel such immense anger toward him that you'll never be satisfied until you get closure or you hurt him right back. And this is the part you aren't going to want to hear from me. . .

I don't believe in "closure." It's just opening an unhealed wound. Don't chase after it; it's masochistic to talk about why you broke up so long ago. You'll only feel more pain after having that conversation. 6 years is WAY too long for this to still be going on.

You need to put this relationship in its place. It was a negative experience and it's time to stop caring about him. Focus on a new relationship that can bring you future happiness. You'll know when you are over him when you feel almost neutral about him.

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