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Caught In The Middle Of A Dating Disaster

Dear Sugar
I am in the military and I live overseas. When you are stationed overseas, you rely on your friends a lot and in a way, they become your family. Two of my best friends became involved with each other a while back and I am feeling caught in their love triangle.

My gal pal is stringing along my guy friend and they both constantly talk to me about their feelings for each other. As of now, he is very interested in dating her. He thinks she is sexy, funny, smart and wildly attractive; while she feels that he is cute and sweet but wishes to only pursue a deeper level of friendship with him.

I feel like she loves the attention that he gives her and she doesn't want it to stop, so she sends him all kinds of flirtatious messages. Unfortunately, he believes that she's into him also; poor guy. I see disaster written all over this relationship and am worried about losing two good friends as as result. Am I over reacting? Military Milly

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Military Milly
I do not think you are over reacting. It seems as though you are caught right in the middle of a dating disaster. This is a tough one; you want your friends to feel that they can confide in you, but you also know how each person feels and that this relationship is never going to be anything more than platonic.

Everyone enjoys receiving attention, but not at the cost of other people's feelings. Do you feel comfortable telling your gal pal to stop leading him on? Is she aware of his feelings towards her? Maybe ask her to put herself in his shoes. Would she like being lead on by a wonderful man who wasn't interested in her in the same way she was him? That angle might make her understand how he could be feeling.

While I understand you want to be there for both of your friends, you might want to take a few steps back so that these love birds can work out their relationship on their own. Let them know you feel very awkward being in the middle, but reassure both friends that you are there for them no matter what comes out of this relationship.

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Jinx Jinx 10 years
True Jen, I guess the only thing I might do is make the girl more aware, like say "He really likes you, you know..." ~Canada, The only country to gain its independance, By asking Nicely~
jennifer76 jennifer76 10 years
Wow. This sucks for you. Dramarama. She may be less interested now, but you don't know how the relationship will evolve. They're both adults and there's no guarantee either of them will listen to you anyway. I say you step back and let them work it out.
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