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Causal Sex Bad For Women

Do You Think Casual Sex Is Bad For Women?

It would not be fun to follow the oppressive sexual conventions of the 1950s. Women would be shamed for having sex before marriage or a kid out of wedlock, and we would surely miss easy access to birth control. But has the increased acceptance, and perhaps the expectation, that women will have casual sex made it more difficult for women to find men who will commit? A new book says yes.

Not everyone loves Premarital Sex in America, a book claiming that casual sex makes it harder for women to find serious relationships. The reactions to my interview with sociologist Mark Regnerus, one of the authors, have been mixed. Readers called his assertions sexist and backwards. But claiming data on his side, Regnerus implores women to remember that men will "make all sorts of commitments" in order to have sex with you, and that "trading it away for little or nothing — or just because you feel like it — is foolish." He says, "Sex with strings comes to be seen as unnecessary. Men have to want to commit. Plenty eventually do, thankfully. But enough don’t, or they stall for years."

So how come no-strings-attached sex isn't bad for men who want commitment? Regnerus says that in the sexual economy, men and women value sex differently. Men will pay for sex, while you don't really see a high demand for male prostitutes among women.

These conclusions assume a lot, like most men want easy sex and most women want commitment. Regnerus concedes that each individual case is different, but do you think he makes a valid point about the consequences of casual sex in general?

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Sweet-Words Sweet-Words 5 years
If the woman wants casual sex, then by all means. But don't expect a relationship from someone who seems to want nothing more. My main problem with all these articles is that I wouldn't want a man's commitment to me to be based on his eventual access to sex. That makes even marriage sound wholly unromantic and unemotional. I am a proponent that sex is generally better within a romantic relationship, but I wouldn't want to hold off just because it's dictated by some weird social contract that the only reason for commitment is receiving stable access to sex. I love sex and I love my boyfriend. I generally don't hook up, though I've made a few regrettable impulsive errors. My emotions tend to be safe if the guy's made romantic intentions clear and doesn't have "asshole liar" written on his forehead. I'm generally a good judge of character
PeachesnCreme PeachesnCreme 5 years
I think the idea of "casual sex" sort of ruins...sex (does that special kind of sex exist anymore? You know where you express your love for someone during it?). I mean, if you're an adult woman..do what you want.. it just scares me when I hear 15 yr olds talking about getting laid. We have to remember that what we do influences the younger generation. I personally waited until I was 18 to give my virginity up- and it was only because I knew that the person I was doing it with was someone I loved (3 years later, I am still in love with that person.) I just think people need to use their brains when they decide to have sex, that is the most empowering thing you can do for yourself.
mondaymoos mondaymoos 5 years
I don't think I agree that all women are looking to "bag the guy" if they're having a hookup. That may be motivation for some, but during my "not interested in a commitment" phase, I was straight up NOT INTERESTED IN COMMITMENT. To make generalizations about what's "good" and "bad" for women is a terrible idea. And at the end of the day, people who call me a "ho" for the sexual decisions I've made need to take a look at themselves and why they feel the need to judge someone else's life style. It's easy to make numbers match your hypothesis if that's all you're seeking to do, and I have a feeling that's where the author's headed.
mondaymoos mondaymoos 5 years
I don't think I agree that all women are looking to "bag the guy" if they're having a hookup. That may be motivation for some, but during my "not interested in a commitment" phase, I was straight up NOT INTERESTED IN COMMITMENT. To make generalizations about what's "good" and "bad" for women is a terrible idea. And at the end of the day, people who call me a "ho" for the sexual decisions I've made need to take a look at themselves and why they feel the need to judge someone else's life style. It's easy to make numbers match your hypothesis if that's all you're seeking to do, and I have a feeling that's where the author's headed.
HollyJRockNRoll HollyJRockNRoll 5 years
If you're not looking for a commitment, then have a one night stand with some random hot guy. The whole friends with benefits thing screams disaster if you don't want any strings attached.
HollyJRockNRoll HollyJRockNRoll 5 years
Listen, everyone has needs. However, a lot of women "hook up" with the hopes it will lead to something more. They may say to their girlfriends that they don't care and that they are just "gettin theirs", but on the low, they are hoping to bag the guy. Sometimes they do, but a lot of time they don't. Sleeping with someone isn't enough to snag a mate. I have lots of male friends and at the end of the day a girl who sleeps around is still considered a ho. Call it what you want, but that's the way it is.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 5 years
Having casual sex doesn't work for me, but it does for other women and that is fine. I think that overall, we should respect others' sexuality.
amber512 amber512 5 years
Personally, I waited until marriage. That was very important to me and is definitely the best decision for some people. For others, that might not be what they are looking for. So I guess it depends.
a-million-suns a-million-suns 5 years
Oh, yes, because a healthy relationship is obviously one in which one partner commits solely because he wants to get some. If a guy I had/am having sex with stops contacting me, then a) I got laid and b) I'm not stuck with someone who doesn't even really want a relationship. Win.And that's assuming that I'm even looking for commitment, which I'm not right now. I know a lot of women are, but so are a lot of men, the same way some other members of both genders are just looking for casual fun.
a-million-suns a-million-suns 5 years
Oh, yes, because a healthy relationship is obviously one in which one partner commits solely because he wants to get some. If a guy I had/am having sex with stops contacting me, then a) I got laid and b) I'm not stuck with someone who doesn't even really want a relationship. Win. And that's assuming that I'm even looking for commitment, which I'm not right now. I know a lot of women are, but so are a lot of men, the same way some other members of both genders are just looking for casual fun.
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
Isn't this back to the whole buying the cow thing? I dunno...if a man only stuck around for sex, or the promise of it, I think I'd find it annoyingly pathetic.
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
Isn't this back to the whole buying the cow thing?I dunno...if a man only stuck around for sex, or the promise of it, I think I'd find it annoyingly pathetic.
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