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Cheat and Not Tell?

Earlier this week I came across a Time article dedicated to infidelity. Author Andrea Sachs interviewed Mira Kirshenbaum, a couples counselor expert, who has discerned 17 reasons that people have extramarital affairs but almost always advises them not to tell — yes, not to tell! She rationalizes her opinion by saying:

. . . how does it make a person less guilty to inflict terrible pain on someone? Which is exactly what the confession does. It puts the other person in a permanent state of hurt and grief and loss of trust and an inability to feel safe, and it doesn't alleviate your guilt. Your relationship is dealt a potentially devastating blow.

Sure, telling your loved one that you strayed is devastating, but in my opinion, lying to your significant other is just as hurtful. Kirshenbaum believes there are only two exceptions to her rule: when he/she didn't practice safe sex or if it's imminent that the other person will find out. Now I've always been one for honestly, so while I understand what she's trying to say, I have to disagree with her advice to lie. What about you? Do you think her opinion has more validity than telling the truth?


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