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Cheaters Never Prosper

Dear Sugar
My boyfriend and I have been together for four and a half years. We met in college and most of our relationship was long distance since we are from two different cities. After graduation, he moved to my home town so we could be closer together. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but I love him and want to be with him forever.

Since his move, I have cheated on him twice. I didn't feel much guilt after it happened because I told myself it would never happen again, that they were both mistakes, that I had been drinking, and other forms of denial to make myself feel better.

In a discussion I recently had with my boyfriend, he mentioned that he knows I would never cheat on him and ever since, I have had this overwhelming feeling of guilt that I can't get rid of. After doing some soul searching, I realized that I cheated for the excitement and the passion of a new relationship - issues I am currently working on. Since my guilt won't go away, should I tell my boyfriend what I have done? Two Timing Tilly

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Two Timing Tilly
It sounds like you have gotten yourself into quite a situation here. I happen to feel that honesty is the best policy and since you're so overwhelmed with guilt, it won't be long before your boyfriend realizes something isn't right. You say you love your boyfriend but something tells me your relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Four years is a long time to be with someone, but if you are still interested in looking for the excitement of a new relationship, being committed to him might not be the best scenario right now. Your boyfriend deserves to hear it from you first, but since you essentially made your bed you have to be willing to take a chance with his reaction.

What are his opinions on cheating? What made him bring up the topic of conversation in the first place? All in all, telling your boyfriend about your infidelity is a very personal decision. Take some time to figure out what you really want and do what is best for both of you. Guilt can wreak havoc on your mind and body, and I strongly feel that the truth will set you free.

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