I'm really confused as to what to do. I am a very traditional girl, have not really been exposed to the party culture. Plus I could care less because I know many people regret what they do in that scene. Well, that being said, about three years ago I met a boy during senior year of high school. He was really great, he had values and we both liked each other since we met. But things happened and we remained as friends. Our friendship grew, and we still liked each other but did nothing. He is a very attractive boy and started to date. About September of last year he stopped talking to me out of the blue, having mutual friends it was rather awkward, and I didn't know what was going on.
February of this year he sent me a text and from there things went back to normal, only this time he revealed his feeling to me. He explained that he has always liked me and because of the fact that I told him we should be friends in the beginning he thought he had no chance. So he stopped talking to me, hoping he could move on, but it didn't help, he actually liked me even more (even had a sleepless month when I went out of town during Summer for a month).
I have always liked him just not to the extent that he has I think. But I knew he needed to go through that party phase and get it over with before he's in a relationship with me. Well since then we have been in the process of becoming closer, we haven't kissed or anything just held hands up to this day.
Well, in March he dropped the bombshell that he was not a virgin anymore, he lost it at a frat party with a girl he didn't know. That just blew my mind. My image of him was rather shattered, he kind of seemed like the rest of the guys in this world. I came to terms that it was a mistake for it was only once, and we moved on. Four days ago I find out he has been with a total of three people, two of which I know. It bothers me for the fact that he knew me all along and kept contact with me when he was screwing around. It aggravates me that I told him to be careful with one particular girl. I never thought he'd do anything like that. Well I was disgusted and didn't want to see him for a while.
Read more for the rest of this reader's dilemma.
Yesterday I talked to him I expressed myself, I didn't disrespect him or anything, I just expressed myself, and told him what I wanted in a relationship. I told him we have taken 10 steps back and we have gone back to being friends. He said it's so hard for him to wait, but that he is willing to (I'm not sure because after he said he has thinking to do). I think it was harder because a week before any of this happened I told him I was almost ready to become his girlfriend, something he has been waiting for, that made him really happy, and now we are ten steps back. He also wants to re-try weed since his first time experiencing it was bad. I told him I wouldn't tolerate drugs, if he does I'm out of the picture. He said he could live without trying weed again. Was that harsh? He is very honest with me does go partying with our same mutual guy friends and tells me everything that happened the next day, and the pictures also. I trust him but I just don't know what to do. How long is it OK to make him wait again, he has hurt me with his past, especially for the fact he knew me all along. I just need advice, I guess. Thank you.