I happened upon an essay by Sirenita Lake, a woman who will soon celebrate 23 years of non-monogamous marriage. Sirenita believes that being attracted to someone else in no way changes her commitment to her husband, because each relationship is separate. She also doesn't mind if her partners are non-monogamous, because she's not a jealous or competitive person.
Sirenita thinks it's time for people to stop feeling bad for straying from their partners:
Our beliefs about marriage are in permanent, unhealthy tension with reality, with around half of marital partners attempting to be monogamous against their nature, like gays in the past who tried to live straight.
Interesting. So Sirenita thinks that some people are naturally wired to be with multiple people at the same time. I guess that's fine with me, if, like Sirenita and her husband, both partners are in on the arrangement, which neutralizes dishonesty and betrayal. Otherwise, "I'm wired to be with that other woman" sounds like a convenient excuse for a cheater.
Could you ever put monogamy aside and be in an open relationship?