Who needs strippers, lap dances, or the company of pretty women (or men) at hostess/host bars when you can crawl around a café on all fours petting cute cats? The Calico Cat Café in Tokyo allows you to do just that. For a mere nine dollars an hour, you can come in and have tea and a little feline company. There are rules, of course. Kids who are younger than fifth graders aren't allowed in. You can't touch a cat if it doesn't want you to (just like a strip joint!). You can't wake sleeping cats, and you can only feed them what the café supplies. Whoever decides to open one of these in the United States is going to make a killing — and I will be the first crazy cat lady in line with crisp bills in my hand.