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DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: I've Got The Holiday Blues

DEARSUGAR NEEDS YOUR HELP: I've Got The Holiday Blues

DEARSUGAR and Miserable Mirabelle need your help. I hate to say it, but you sound like you are really feeling sorry for yourself. Sweetie, chin up! The holiday season can either be a very joyful time or an utterly depressing time, but don't despair because this too shall pass.

Pick yourself up and stop sitting around wallowing in your misery. You have your health, you've got some friends that you like and you've got a bright new year to look forward to. You have the power to piece you life back together one step at a time.

Maybe your next job will be even better than you could have imagined and maybe the next corner you turn, you'll find Mr. Right. I hope that my little pep talk has helped you. Does anyone else have any more suggestions for her?

Dear Sugar,
I am feeling depressed. I am not in school right now. I just quit my job so I am now also unemployed. I am not dating anyone either and lately it seems like no one is even remotely interested in me. I have very few friends that I enjoy spending time with and on top of all this, I gained a total of 35 pounds over the last year.

I have lost ten pounds so far and I am doing everything I can to lose the rest. I have these disgusting ripples on my legs which I never had...they look like actual large lumps, not just small amounts of cellulite. I'm practically at a loss of what to do with myself. I feel like I have ruined my life and I am never happy anymore. Miserable Mirabelle

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jobey jobey 9 years
Thanks you guys it makes me feel really good to see that there are people out there who care. Reading what I wrote again I see how it's coming from a pretty bleak viewpoint. I'm still plugging away with the weight loss going to the gym as much as I can and trying to keep a positive view point. I'm looking around for jobs and I like the idea that everything might get sunnier and brighter for me. I still can't shake the feeling that I messed things up and i might never be truely happy. As for guys, i'm a little afraid to go there now...as I still feel pretty rocky about myself. I guess that will come with time. There is this one quote about being afraid of life and how that makes you three quarters dead and it kind of rings true for me unfortunatly...but I'll try and make the best of things. Thank you guys so much you're all very sweet to care about a stranger H (Miserable Mirabelle)
monica_w monica_w 9 years
Congratulations for taking control of your weight and making changes to lose those ten pounds. Setting goals and making the effort certainly seems to be working in that area of your life, so why not apply the same concept to other areas of your life? You're out of school and out of work: which would you rather be doing right now? Which will lead to your dream future? Figure out where you want to be in a few years and then break down what you need to do to get there into small, manageable goals. Do you need to apply to schools again? Do you need to research what makes a good resume? Since you seem to have a bit of free time on your hands, why not spend a bit of it sending out emails or quick letters to friends you've lost touch with. Perhaps they're more fun than you remember, and if you arrange for an activity to do with them (skiing, hiking, going to a movie, bowling, etc.) then at least you'll be doing something fun even if you can't make the conversation interesting! You've done great on getting your figure back; you've proven that you can do what you set your mind to. So, set your mind to mending the other parts of your life that you're unsatisfied with, and bring on the good times! Best of luck to you.
sabrinaland sabrinaland 9 years
I have totally been where you are at now. It is hard to get yourself out of a funk, but you have to try. Nobody's life is happy all the time, just think of celebrities you've been trhough the mill, like the model Nikki Taylor who lost her sister when she was young, who was in a very bad accident and got addicted to painkillers, got divorced and had to raise two boys on her own. But things turned around and she just got married.So have some faith, put a little work into it, know there is ALWAYS someone who is worse off then you, and be kind to yourself. You can do it! :)
kittycat kittycat 9 years
many people get depressed when there is a change in their lifestyle or daily schedule. when my holiday break started, school was done and work was done, i felt under utilized and am one of those who likes to keep busy. so i wasnt feeling the greatest either. but it went away quickly as i was quite desperate for some rest. maybe this is ur case? my advice is find out the root of the depression. there can by many causes. surround urself with people you love and care about, vice versa.
arianell arianell 9 years
I know that when you're depressed, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel or ever imagine being yourself again. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? They certainly can't "cure", but sometimes it's really nice to have someone who will just listen to your concerns and help you set goals to get your life back on track. I'd also suggest enrolling in a class or two at a local community college.. something fun and interesting, like art or cooking. It's a great way to meet people and it will put you back on the path to feeling productive. Good luck!
flyhunnie7 flyhunnie7 9 years
Sorry to hear about your funk. Do you think the change of seasons (sunlight, colder weather) has anything to do with it? It happens to my mom every year. if it is, then there are these amazing lamps that help with that. They produce natural sunlight and keep you alert and functioning as though it's 80 degrees and sunny. But, if it's not that I would see if spending time with some supportive family members or friends would do the trick. I hope this helps. Don't lose hope. You did NOT ruin your life. It's a funk that you can get yourself out of with a little will power. It's tough but you're acknowledging it's happening to you, so you're dealing with it will.
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